A good intention gone straight to hell.

It’s no secret to any of you that I’m not a cook. I would love to spend some time learning the culinary arts, but I’m afraid that just isn’t in my schedule.


Mr. Strong and the kids would say that it wasn’t in my talent range either, but who cares…right?

Anyway, both girls are sick, so I thought yesterday that I would LOVINGLY make them some homemade Chicken Noodle Soup.

Why?

I don’t know – I felt like I could try something new…

I Googled recipes…and then I thought to myself “Shit, I’m going to need things like...ingredients.”

All of the recipes contained the following:

Chicken Pieces

Chicken Stock

Salt/Pepper

Celery

Carrots

Parsley

Bay Leaf

Egg Noodles


Not too complicated right?

Well? For someone that doesn’t cook very often I was extremely confused.

After my recipe search, my mind was racing. “What the fuck are chicken pieces? Do they actually sell chicken pieces? Is Chicken Stock the same as Chicken Broth and will the label tell me this? And what the hell is a Bay Leaf? Where in the world do I find that thing? Shit! Shit! Shit!”

Okay, after work I decide to venture into HEB because it’s two days before Thanksgiving and I thought it wouldn’t take me long with only needing a few items. Shoot me!

I wasn’t 10 feet into the store and it looked like a mad house! Everyone was racing to get their Thanksgiving menus shoved into their baskets and nobody was looking out for anyone else! Complete! Chaos! It was soooo crowded!

I found the vegetables I needed and as soon as I was about to venture into the meat isle, this basket came racing across my foot and the girl never looked back to see if I was all right. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs “You fucking idiot! If you weren’t 7 years old, I would chase after you and beat your ass!!!!”

You can rest assured I didn’t. I just limped over to the chicken and this is where everything went downhill.

I swear the whole time I’m in the store, it’s like I’m moving in slow motion and everyone around me is pushing, reaching and racing on.

I couldn’t find “chicken pieces” – there were whole chickens and chicken parts and chicken breasts, but NO CHICKEN PIECES! In my vision and limited cooking skills I was looking for cubes of chicken or something similar - like the picture. None.

Fuck!

Okay, I set there thinking “I will come back, because if this bitch reaches around me one more time, I’m going to bite her arm!”

So I take myself over to the spice isle looking for this all elusive bay leaf. It’s a seasoning right? Well I still don’t know what the fuck it is because I never found it. I finally asked someone that worked there and she led me to Basil – NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING LADY!

Apparently she doesn’t cook much either.

GRRRRRR!

I walked out of the isle – who the hell needs a bay leaf anyway!?

I went to the soup isle and there was NO Chicken Stock – Broth or anything else CHICKEN in that isle. It turns out that Chicken Stock/Broth is used in Thanksgiving cooking and they were sold out.

OMG! Really!? I’m about to drop my basket in the middle of this isle and just walk out of the store when I realized that I still needed the toilet paper.

Fuck it! The girls don’t need Chicken Noodle Soup!!!!!

I went to check out with no rhyme or reason to the items in my basket – NONE.

I walked straight up to the express checkout – 10 items or less – with 12 items and the whole time I was begging the checkout lady to “say something!”

I’m sure she was thinking “Sausage, Toilet Paper, Sushi, Broccoli – awwww poor lady!”

Never. Again.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and if you’re cooking? May you find all the ingredients you need!

Total Deja Vu

I saw that someone had read this post in my sidebar today and instead of ignoring it, i thought "What the hell?"

And you know what? It was a total DejaVu moment!

I miss writing everyday...

xoxo

Doodlebug

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY to my dearest Doodlebug!

You have brought indescribable joy into our lives.

Never stop smiling!

Never lose your sense of humor!

I love you more than words can define!

You are my heart - my life.

XOXOXOXOXO

Unapologetically, the parent I am.

My heart broke a little bit for someone yesterday, and well last night? It broke a little more for me.


I can only write that I am sending out healing, comforting and positive energy to all those that need it now – including me.

I could go into details on what I just wrote, but I won’t – not today.

I will write this instead. This topic is weighing heavy on my heart too, so here it goes:

To my children:

I will ALWAYS be the helicopter mom; pushing you to be the best that I know you can be and encouraging the unlimited potential that I know exists inside you.

I will bitch and gripe and question the bad choices you make, but I will ALWAYS respect your individuality and encourage your walk to the beat of a different drum.

I believe that it is my job and responsibility to make sure you have the necessities in life, but I promise that as long as I am physically able, I will provide a richer world than what I experienced as a child so long as you show true appreciation for the gifts in your life.

I will ALWAYS be the mom that praises and supports you in everything you do or want to accomplish in this life.

I will ALWAYS support your dreams whether I approve or not, because they are in fact, YOUR dreams.

I believe that the more you help others, the more your life will be richly rewarded and I will never let you forget this.

I will never fail to remind you that even as teenagers and the world seems small and drama runs ramped among your friends, your ATTITUDE toward these life experiences will ALWAYS determine your overall happiness.

I will ALWAYS expect payment for the privileges in your life to include chores, good grades and gratitude, and I will never deny you your high school experiences if you put in 100% effort and still fall short. Nobody is perfect.

I will ALWAYS demand you show respect and use your manners in private and public – no negotiations on this one.

I will probably dismiss some of your gripes because I believe that you are bigger than petty gossip or participation, but I will NEVER dismiss your feelings or what you feel deep in your heart.

I don’t know how to be a parent that is not involved with every aspect of your life. The things I do or say about your extracurricular activities, education, work ethics and gratitude will ALWAYS be in your best interest – even though you might want to shank me in my sleep.

I will ALWAYS acknowledge that I am not a perfect parent and compromises will be necessary as you get older.

And I will NEVER let you doubt, that I will ALWAYS be your biggest fan and love you unconditionally – even when you are being disciplined.

These are my parenting skills – there’s no other way for me. You will ALWAYS be given the world of support needed in every aspect of your life; as you will also earn those privileges, have rules and be disciplined for bad choices.

Unapologetically,

The parent I am.