I had a breakdown this morning – yep, while driving down the road.
I began crying and it didn’t stop until about an hour into work. Seriously, I felt like I didn’t get it all out – like I still have part of that and any other breakdown inside me – ready to implode.
It all started with another morning of the girls not getting up and getting dressed by the time we NEED to leave to meet the school bus. When this happens I have to take them both to school on opposite ends of the town and it makes me late to work. This frustration along with being extremely unhappy with my body right now, coupled with a sleepless night for reasons I wont discuss here, and it all just did me in – the tears fell and the sobs were released.
I just don’t know how someone that is so busy with work, family and other responsibilities can be so lonely – and yet I am. In the midst of my wonderful chaotic life – I feel alone. I feel like a bystander in my life because most of it, is spent running around for someone else.
I am blessed.
I am very lucky.
I am making my dreams come true.
Yet…
I feel alone.
I can’t explain it – I don’t even want to try.
I haven't always felt this way - these are new feelings - and yet, I....
One thing that I have learned (and trying to master) is that the Law of Attraction is exact. When someone talks about something negative or depressing, then those situation perpetuate those exact feelings and circumstances and I try to avoid conversations like this all together.
Meaning: Negativity – in any form – is contagious.
So, with that being written, I don’t want to create a negative domino. I will continue to look toward the positive perspective that will pull me out of this funk. I just needed the therapy of writing out loud today.
Until then … think happy thoughts!
…myself included…;-)
Have you ever faked it?
Have you ever faked it?
Really?
I’m sure some of you just answered that question without really knowing what I just asked – didn’t you!?
LOL! Shame on you!
I’m talking about faking like you were really accomplished in something – like diet and exercise?
This post is stemming from a couple of different conversations I have had recently. I was asked by the Regional Manager at Gold’s Gym in this area if I would like to be a personal trainer for them – a few hours a week.
My initial reaction was HELL to the YEAH!!! Here comes the DRILL SERGEANT! Whoot! Whoot!
But what came out of my mouth to Mr. Strong was, “I need to lose weight first!”
And of course his response to me was “So you’ve put on a few pounds – big deal – you haven’t lost the knowledge! People need trainers like you that have the experience of struggling and overcoming weight issues!” (I do love that man…)
So, I have decided to “think” about it – actually I am looking for the time. The thought of helping people reach a once thought of impossible dream, gives me chills of excitement!
Now fast forward a week to last night. I asked Mr. Strong what time he was getting up, so that I could get up at the same time and run. He said 6am.
At 6 he was already in the shower and I was hitting the snooze on my alarm. I knew he was going to be getting Doodblebug up soon to get him ready for Daycare and as I lay there – wide awake – snuggled under the covers – clearly NOT running – this is what I heard when he came out of the bathroom.
Insert child-like whispering voice here:
“Let’s go Doodlebug, time to wake up. You need to be really quite, your mother is running.”
Of course Doodlebug is looking at the covers and then back at Mr. Strong, thinking he is crazy!
“You have to get ready to go to daycare. Shhhh! You mom is really working up a sweat over there.”
Okay – I can hear every word that he is saying and he knows this! I can’t quit laughing, but you know what? I still didn’t get up and run!
So the question to myself is…am I faking it?
And my answer is – no, no I am not!
I really want to lose weight. I want to be that active runner again that I swore I would never be. I want to wear my regular clothes again – not just mumus or ponchos with leggings!
I want – scratch that – I WILL! I've been in a slump lately, but I am finding my way out.
I just have to find a way to work it into my schedules – I can do it!
Besides, I’ve faked it before and you know what? I didn’t get away with it – because no matter what you verbally tell the world, they can still see your fat rolls.
Sending motivation and positive energy across the globe!
Really?
I’m sure some of you just answered that question without really knowing what I just asked – didn’t you!?
LOL! Shame on you!
I’m talking about faking like you were really accomplished in something – like diet and exercise?
This post is stemming from a couple of different conversations I have had recently. I was asked by the Regional Manager at Gold’s Gym in this area if I would like to be a personal trainer for them – a few hours a week.
My initial reaction was HELL to the YEAH!!! Here comes the DRILL SERGEANT! Whoot! Whoot!
But what came out of my mouth to Mr. Strong was, “I need to lose weight first!”
And of course his response to me was “So you’ve put on a few pounds – big deal – you haven’t lost the knowledge! People need trainers like you that have the experience of struggling and overcoming weight issues!” (I do love that man…)
So, I have decided to “think” about it – actually I am looking for the time. The thought of helping people reach a once thought of impossible dream, gives me chills of excitement!
Now fast forward a week to last night. I asked Mr. Strong what time he was getting up, so that I could get up at the same time and run. He said 6am.
At 6 he was already in the shower and I was hitting the snooze on my alarm. I knew he was going to be getting Doodblebug up soon to get him ready for Daycare and as I lay there – wide awake – snuggled under the covers – clearly NOT running – this is what I heard when he came out of the bathroom.
Insert child-like whispering voice here:
“Let’s go Doodlebug, time to wake up. You need to be really quite, your mother is running.”
Of course Doodlebug is looking at the covers and then back at Mr. Strong, thinking he is crazy!
“You have to get ready to go to daycare. Shhhh! You mom is really working up a sweat over there.”
Okay – I can hear every word that he is saying and he knows this! I can’t quit laughing, but you know what? I still didn’t get up and run!
So the question to myself is…am I faking it?
And my answer is – no, no I am not!
I really want to lose weight. I want to be that active runner again that I swore I would never be. I want to wear my regular clothes again – not just mumus or ponchos with leggings!
I just have to find a way to work it into my schedules – I can do it!
Besides, I’ve faked it before and you know what? I didn’t get away with it – because no matter what you verbally tell the world, they can still see your fat rolls.
Sending motivation and positive energy across the globe!
MmmmmHuuuuuh! Girrrrrrrllll! I've been running 10 miles a day and eating lettuce for 6 months! I'm in the best shape ever!
One of those days.
I thought and thought - for about the 15 seconds that I had available today - on what to write - I NEEEED to write something!
Hmmmm?
I am having "one of those days" today and I don't want to be negative or complain, but I am sure you can classify which kind of "one of those days" it is from my post.
So instead being negative or complaining, I am sharing a bit of positive information that I think everyone could benefit from when they are having one of these kinds of - "one of those days".
The following item...
Unzipped, can hide back-fat rolls created from well? your back fat and bra creases.
Just saying....
;-)
Hmmmm?
I am having "one of those days" today and I don't want to be negative or complain, but I am sure you can classify which kind of "one of those days" it is from my post.
So instead being negative or complaining, I am sharing a bit of positive information that I think everyone could benefit from when they are having one of these kinds of - "one of those days".
The following item...
LE JACKET'
Unzipped, can hide back-fat rolls created from well? your back fat and bra creases.
Just saying....
;-)
Birthday Post
Oh yeah, it's my birthday, oh yeahhhhhh. Doing the cabbage patch - running man, running man - watch out now!
Today is my birthday!
WooHoo!!!!!!!!
So today? I get to take off!!!!!
I mean.......not from work, or from the kids, or from this blog, but definitely from laundry and housework!
Yay, that makes me happier!
Toodles!
Today is my birthday!
WooHoo!!!!!!!!
So today? I get to take off!!!!!
I mean.......not from work, or from the kids, or from this blog, but definitely from laundry and housework!
Yay, that makes me happier!
Toodles!
A picture is worth a thousand words...part II.
Here we go!
5 Star Hotel!
Swimming!
Snow tubing!
The Dreamworks ICE show!
The hotel fitness center and Spaaaaaaaaa!
Slumber room and a wine bottle Christmas Tree!
A great time!
Wonderful family!
HUGE dreams and PERFECT in every way!
Enjoy!
Picture Caption Notes to Come!!!!
5 Star Hotel!
Swimming!
Snow tubing!
The Dreamworks ICE show!
The hotel fitness center and Spaaaaaaaaa!
Slumber room and a wine bottle Christmas Tree!
A great time!
Wonderful family!
HUGE dreams and PERFECT in every way!
Enjoy!
A picture is worth a thousand words...
I know that I wrote I would tell you about my best-ever New Year's trip this year "tomorrow" and I know that "tomorrow" has come and gone, plus a few days, but I've been busy. Plain and simple.
I don't have a lot of time today either, but I needed to take a few minutes to gather my sanity and write.
Okay, maybe I won't be writing much, but at least....as the old saying goes...a picture is worth a thousand words.
So enjoy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Did you enjoy those?!
Well of course not! I went to attach all my freaking pictures and they have disappeared off this computer! GRRRRRR!!!!!!
I was assured that when my computer was updated this weekend that all of my stuff was saved...well apparently NOT!
So, one of these days I will post pictures of my best-ever New Year's trip for you!
Right now? I'm going hunting....
I don't have a lot of time today either, but I needed to take a few minutes to gather my sanity and write.
Okay, maybe I won't be writing much, but at least....as the old saying goes...a picture is worth a thousand words.
So enjoy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Did you enjoy those?!
Well of course not! I went to attach all my freaking pictures and they have disappeared off this computer! GRRRRRR!!!!!!
I was assured that when my computer was updated this weekend that all of my stuff was saved...well apparently NOT!
So, one of these days I will post pictures of my best-ever New Year's trip for you!
Right now? I'm going hunting....
A new year...a new me.
I have a story about our New Year's travels, but most of that will come tomorrow.
Today? Today, I give thanks that I was able to celebrate one of the best New Year’s vacations EVER!
Today is the beginning of a new year – today is the beginning of a new me…
In the months past, I had planned to start this New Year off differently. I didn’t think that I would be posting resolutions to lose weight and become healthier ---AGAIN!
I came to this realization on New Year’s Eve - more specifically, when someone pointed out their fondness of the shirt I was wearing.
What does this mean to you?
Well? What this means to me is that I was blessed to celebrate another ENTIRE YEAR of living (day in and day out) and what have I done?
Yes, I have done wondrous things and lived out some dreams and even shared my life with the entire world, but here I sit, about to write down the same resolutions that I have had since I began making resolutions – lose weight, learn another language and become a healthier and happier me – Twelve years in a row!? Oy!
Who does that?
Me.
I know they write and say that hindsight is 20/20, but really? In reality, I have had T W E L V E Y E A R S to make the same resolutions come true. T W E L V E Y E A R S people! Aren’t your resolutions really your dreams? Aren’t they considered the ideal of ideals of how you want your life to be?
And, I was given the time…
I. Was. Given. The. Time.
I read my shirt and thought to myself “What am I going to do with my life? Well? Apparently I am going to except my excuses and struggle with my weight and happiness, so that I can keep making the same resolutions over and over again…right?”
Wrong!
I declared in that moment – after some stranger pointed out the “saying”:
I will resolve to finally lose the weight I want to lose, learn another language and become the healthier and happier person that I am trying to be now – period. I will NEVER post these resolutions in a future year, because I will accomplish them THIS year – to last the rest of my life!
I will happily assume that I will be given another year to make them come true – I cannot wake up on January 1, 2013 and have squandered the time that was given to me - ever again!
Our New Year’s trip consisted of a 5 Star Hotel, Disney and Dreamworks Characters and events, great food, and the best of family.
New Year’s Eve – I accomplished 5 long, hard, painful and breathless miles – did I puke? Almost! But the spa retreat helped alleviate my stresses afterwards.
New Year’s Day – I woke up a different me - I spent the morning at the spa in the dry sauna to help detox the wine and previous year away and had a great trip home.
This New Year’s was the best I have ever had and IS the start of many more great adventures to come!
This is a new year…this is a new me.
Today? Today, I give thanks that I was able to celebrate one of the best New Year’s vacations EVER!
Today is the beginning of a new year – today is the beginning of a new me…
In the months past, I had planned to start this New Year off differently. I didn’t think that I would be posting resolutions to lose weight and become healthier ---AGAIN!
I came to this realization on New Year’s Eve - more specifically, when someone pointed out their fondness of the shirt I was wearing.
What does this mean to you?
Well? What this means to me is that I was blessed to celebrate another ENTIRE YEAR of living (day in and day out) and what have I done?
Yes, I have done wondrous things and lived out some dreams and even shared my life with the entire world, but here I sit, about to write down the same resolutions that I have had since I began making resolutions – lose weight, learn another language and become a healthier and happier me – Twelve years in a row!? Oy!
Who does that?
Me.
I know they write and say that hindsight is 20/20, but really? In reality, I have had T W E L V E Y E A R S to make the same resolutions come true. T W E L V E Y E A R S people! Aren’t your resolutions really your dreams? Aren’t they considered the ideal of ideals of how you want your life to be?
And, I was given the time…
I. Was. Given. The. Time.
I read my shirt and thought to myself “What am I going to do with my life? Well? Apparently I am going to except my excuses and struggle with my weight and happiness, so that I can keep making the same resolutions over and over again…right?”
Wrong!
I declared in that moment – after some stranger pointed out the “saying”:
I will resolve to finally lose the weight I want to lose, learn another language and become the healthier and happier person that I am trying to be now – period. I will NEVER post these resolutions in a future year, because I will accomplish them THIS year – to last the rest of my life!
I will happily assume that I will be given another year to make them come true – I cannot wake up on January 1, 2013 and have squandered the time that was given to me - ever again!
Our New Year’s trip consisted of a 5 Star Hotel, Disney and Dreamworks Characters and events, great food, and the best of family.
New Year’s Eve – I accomplished 5 long, hard, painful and breathless miles – did I puke? Almost! But the spa retreat helped alleviate my stresses afterwards.
New Year’s Day – I woke up a different me - I spent the morning at the spa in the dry sauna to help detox the wine and previous year away and had a great trip home.
This New Year’s was the best I have ever had and IS the start of many more great adventures to come!
This is a new year…this is a new me.
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