***PARENTS CAUTIONED FOR CONTENT***
When the hubby left this morning, I got up and jogged 4 miles on my treadmill. I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep because I JUST CAN’T TURN OFF MY BRAIN! I knew that after the day I had yesterday, if I didn’t get up and workout (revive the endorphins) I was going to call in sick. (AND THAT IS NOT IN MY CHARACTER!) I jogged 4 miles this morning without the TV or music on and you know what the mind-boggling, scratch your head, what the hell was I thinking now that I’m sitting here at my desk with my knee throbbing, thing about it was? I remember starting and finishing, but nothing in between.
That means I was so preoccupied with life and everything I was feeling that I forgot to tell myself I needed to slow down because I was short of breath, or I couldn’t run anymore because my side hurt, or I needed to walk more, so that I could run longer – nothing – nada – no excuses. I don’t remember when mile 1 became mile 2 into mile 3 and what possessed me to begin and end mile 4. Every step I took was like a grudge f@ck to the treadmill belt and I stepped off after 4 miles with no release!
I was still irritated, tense and ready to keep going, but the obligations of getting the kids up and ready for school and myself ready for work was priority. Grrrrrr!
Normally, I am not in these kinds of moods and I can’t blame it on PMS or any other chemical or mental breakdown – I can only assume that the answers to what the hell am I going to do, become, attain, and manifest in my life, will help.
I am a lucky person! It is easy for me to put my life into perspective! I have the perfect mate, wonderful children, a great job and all the support I will ever need. So why is it so hard for me to be content RIGHT NOW? Why is the burning desire to want to MAKE A DIFFERENCE or JUST BE PRESENT IN MY LIFE causing me so much strain?
I know that life happens, but at what point is it okay to tell all the excuses, pessimisms, fears and apprehensions to f@ck off? When did ambition, persistence and motivation become obstacles?
Breathe.
In through the nose, out through the mouth
Repeat 5 times.
From now on, I live, work-out and pursue my dreams for ME--because in MY happiness, I give freely and feel content. Is there really any other way to live?
Today is 104 days into this journey, so I will be adding another goal for MYSELF: 1,000 words a day for the next 60 days and my book published and selling millions beginning the first quarter of 2011. By then, I will be at my goal weight, have all the money that I can manifest and maybe even have my Children’s Personal Trainer License.
My mind is made up! There is no turning back now. Watch out world – here I come!
I have my release…ohhh yeahhhhh!
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