Mrs. Master Chef

Okay people, so last night - I cooked.

Yep - food.

What started it all was very innocent. Someone left me the new Pampered Chef order book on my front doorstep and I perused the inside. Here are a few snapshots of what was going through my brain:

"Ohh, measuring cups - I want some of those!"

"Ohh look! Those baking dishes are so neat - I could use some of those too - I can make a pie!"

"WTF is that? Oh I HAVE to that meat tenderizer! It totally looks like a sex toy! That will make "pounding meat" fun!"  (ok, I confess to coming back to this page numerous times...couldn't turn my nasty thoughts off. I mean come on people - look at it!)

"Wow! Look at those pans! They are WAYYYYYY expensive - I guess that means they are WAYYYYY better...MMM HUH!"

"I want those square dishes! I have been looking for some exactly like that! I need to get rid of my circle black dishes that I have had for umpteen years!  I am soo ordering those!"

"MMMKAY, These ladies make cooking look fun. I need one of those choppers. Mine is shot to hell and the handle is broken. "

See?

"I want to cook something now...hmmmm...what do I have?"

"Let's go with Hamburger Steak and Steamed Veggies."

At about this time, I pulled everything out of the fridge and cabinets to begin my masterpiece!

Here are ALL of the necessary ingredients for cooking a this meal at my house...

Food: check
Wine: check
Cookware: check
Rubber Gloves: check

Yes you read correctly: rubber gloves. I. DO. NOT. TOUCH. RAW. MEAT.

I don't - it's not that I won't or that I can't - I DON'T - period. (You can all Psychoanalyze this for me later and get back with me, mmmkay?)

The 96% lean meat gets mixed with an Onion Mushroom Soup Mix for flavor.

And this is what one perfectly 3.5oz meat patty looks like. (Aprox. 110 calories)

Next it's on to the broccoli and cauliflower - chopped, with a little bit of water, onion powder and pepper for taste - and put into the big red pot that I will pretend like I didn't just take off the store bought price tags and stickers and wash...(about 120 calories with 1 cup of each.)

Yum!

After everything was said and done and the meat was cooked to the point that there was absolutely NO protein pink in the middle:

I got out my finest china (chinette) and made the perfect low calorie - perfectly portioned plate.

Now, I am sure that you all are in AWE of my Master Chef abilities and now want me to author a cook book, but I assure you that I do not have the time for that kind of endeavor. Yes, I know I am breaking some hearts out there and really disappointing the masses - sorry again.

But I am happy to report that this meal was actually liked and eaten by the members of my family and it wasn't because we had absolutely nothing else in the house to eat and it was either this or go to bed hungry.

Bon appétit!

Good son / Bad son and Rated "M" for Mature

Here I am back to another busy Monday.

This is what has happened since...

We left Friday for the 3rd tennis tournament this summer at 6:00am to get a head start on our 8am check-in ~100 miles away.

All in all it was a great day - well mostly.

You see, MY son Doodlebug is absolutely the perfect angel and best child that you could ever travel with. Unfortunately, Mr. Strong's son Doodlebug is H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E! Apparently I took Mr. Strong's son with me on Friday.

The Good son - my son - is quiet, peaceful and loving. He loves to wash his hands after he uses the potty - hence the wet shirt.

The Bad son - Mr. Strong's son - doesn't mind, has selective hearing and hides from me after he decides to shit his pants under the bleachers!

So here I am - in the middle of the tennis tournament - sweat dripping down my nose, frustrated and cleaning Doodlebug's ass in the back of the truck for the world to see - praying that I brought extra clothes! After this little fiasco was resolved I only had to worry about him running onto, screaming and yelling for the girls on the courts - basically disturbing EVERY match that was being played. (Because a 3yr old doesn't understand why HE can't play too!!!)

I finally took him to the truck - turned on the AC and barricaded him in, but I couldn't get him to sit down and watch a movie for nothing! There was no bribe in the world big enough that I could come up with to make him mind!

I can only assume that this was the Universe testing my "practice more patience" journey or else I would have driven home minus one child! (not really - but it was very tempting!)

Overall it was a great day! Kitty took 1st in girls singles and both of the girls took 2nd in girls doubles...yes they actually PLAYED together!

Saturday was a different day - so to all my underage fans out there or sensitive adults - this next section is rated "M" for mature. Please leave now, so I don't proceed to insult your delicate natures.

Thank you for reading this far...

Again, Saturday was a different day. I woke up with the most excruciating headache! I mean, I could tell that "this was going to become a migraine" bad! I made it through an early brunch and was able to accomplish a few things during the early day.

Then Mr. Strong took us out for an early dinner to my FAVORITE restaurant and the pain hit me like a brick - only I wasn't knocked unconscious!  I wasn't able to finish the meal and ended up waiting in the truck for everyone else.

As we drove home, the pain behind my eyes was so bad that I became nauseous. Once we pulled into the driveway, I got out and puked my guts out on the side of the house. (Yes, this is gross I know, but for some reason when I experience TRUE pain - my body responds by throwing up! Ewww!)

Anyway, here is another testament as to why I love Mr. Strong to the moon and back. I am puking - he is holding my hair and patting my back. (I couldn't do this for him - if I see or hear puke - I puke - period.)

(Did I mention that I also had to pee on the way home and the violent nature of my stomach contractions while I was puking had my muscles relaxing on the other end and VOILA - I peed myself too! - oh I didn't? well that happened too. shhh) 

After I was able to make it inside, Mr. Strong ran me a bubble bath and brought me some migraine medicine.

Awww - he does love me!

After the teeth were brushed and the body was cleaned, I lied down on the bed and covered my eyes to shield out the sunlight and waited for the medicine to kick in.

And waited...

And waited...

A couple of hours later the medicine had not kicked in and of course my overly concerned and loving husband - Mr. Strong - decided to offer me his own medicine - his penis. Yes, Mr. Strong believes that his penis is the cure to all my ailments and never a reason to go without.

Ladies - I was in so much pain, I thought - what the hell! Maybe...? I have read articles and heard from Mr. Strong over and over again that the "release" will ease tension and reduce headaches. Right?

Two orgasms later I am laying in the bed with the pillow over my head again to block out the sunlight thinking to myself "that fucker lied!"

My head still hurt! And when I called him on his bullshit - mumbling from under the pillow - you know what he did?! He lifted my shirt and gave me raspberries on my stomach! Yes, he kept blowing on my stomach making fart noises and I haven't laughed so hard in months!

The funny thing is, the sex didn't relieve my headache, but the laughter definitely eased it! Or maybe the medicine decided to kick in...???????



Sunday was better for me. We took the kids to see Cars 2. Loved it!

I also learned that even though Mr. Strong will hold my hair and rub my back while I am puking, run me a bubble bath after I pee on myself, bring me medicine, and offer his penis out of unselfish love, he WILL NOT willing share his movie theater popcorn! I mean he did - but the look that I got when I reached in for a second bite was like a 3yr old about to have a temper tantrum because I touched HIS popcorn!

Seriously people - I love that man!

Sparkle

This morning was spent watching the sunrise again while the girls played tennis and Doodlebug watched Cars for the 50th time.

LOVE the smell of fresh morning air while the sprinklers are bringing life to everything they touch!

I love getting up in the mornings - believe it or not - I'm sure Mr. Strong just choked on something, but the reality is, it puts me in a great mood that lasts throughout the day.

(Excuse me I have to go give Mr. Strong the Heimlich maneuver - seems he got all choked up on my comment...)

And yes, I just Googled how to spell Heimlich...

Anywhoozle

As proof that I am in such a good mood this morning I decided that I would wear some SPARKLE to work today.

See...

Total HOTNESS!

My feet NEVER have fat days.

Matter of fact, I could sooooo be a foot model! I have very, very pretty feet! (toot-toot)

I should write a post and send you all pictures so that you can agree too! (mental note: take pics of your feet for your fans...)


So tell me, what is your favorite body part?

Food Page is Up!

My Food page is up and running now!

Bon Appétit!  

Today...Tomorrow

Today you still have the opportunity to read my first year in Blogland.

Tomorrow? well once my release day hits - no more Year 1. You will just have to buy the book!

And can I write that it is absolutely fabulous!

My biased opinion of course...

;-)

STOP THE PRESS!

OMG! STOP THE PRESS!

NO WAIT!

DON"T STOP THE PRESS!

I am officially published!!!!!!

YAY! (Doing the cabbage patch, running man, running man - riding the pony...YEEHAW!)

Here is my sleek and sexy new book!

Simple, Elegant, Perfect!

Black of course goes with every decor - not to mention all the Feng Shui meanings of the color black - and the Sunrise is the perfect picture to express my NEW BEGINNINGS!

This year when I wrote this post I expected to publish another book. It is funny how things work out.

It couldn't be more perfect! Thoughts DO become things!

Everything is Energy and Energy is Limitless!

The giddy school girl in me can't quit smiling! That's why I took this picture - like with my face in it and everything!

Of course I immediately called Mr. Strong and then sent him this picture! Instead of the initial congratulations - and being that he has a penis - I got this reply instead "your te'ta's look great!" (yes, really!)

I want EVERYONE to experience the feelings I do now!

Eeeeeeeeee!

Another Beautiful Sunrise

Today started at around 5:30. The girl's had tennis lessons at 7am at the Country Club and can I write...the weather was absolutely beautiful! There was a cool breeze while the sun came up and the lessons went great! Doodlebug and I watched a movie in the truck and then I let him chase a rabbit around the clubhouse. FUN!

Did I mention the weather was beautiful? It's going to be like 112 degrees today, so I'm glad I got my "outside" time in early. Being out in the fresh morning air with the cool breeze and the sprinklers going made me miss running in the morning! Yes! you read correctly! I MISS running in the morning!

My workouts have been a hit and miss lately, but I have been "pretty" strict on my food. This weekend? well it will be occupied by another tennis tournament starting at 8am tomorrow. In between matches, I promise to try to get all of my new pages up top written.

It was such a beautiful morning and it put me in a great mood. I would like to share another Secret video for a few of my fans. There are some people out there right now struggling to make ends meet. There are some people out there that are depressed and down about their life's circumstances and financials woes. You know who you are...I leave today in an attempt to give these particular fans HOPE! Hope and KNOWING that things will be better.

The magnificent Rhonda Byrne writes on her web page just above this video that EVERY time you watch The Secret to Riches, read every word and focus your energy and feelings to magnetize abundance into your life. The more you can feel, the more power you will add to bring abundance to you.

We were all meant to HAVE, BE and DO ANYTHING we want in this life! May we ALL wake up to another beautiful sunrise!

Travel Page

My Travel Page has been updated...enjoy!

To New Beginnings

Hello?!

Anybody there?!

I'm in here somewhere!!!

Hello?!

See this is what happens when I take off on a Friday for the weekend and come back to work on Monday!
This is what happens in ONE day! I am trying to play catch-up.

The good thing is that today has flown by! Whooo Hoooo!

This past weekend was and will be like almost every weekend this summer. It will start out with a Friday and Saturday tennis tournament for the girls with cool temperatures around the following:

YIKES! Sweat mustaches and crack lines are NOT cool!

Then it will be spent recovering on a Sunday while trying to catch up with laundry. OR, if we have a "tennis tournament" weekend off, maybe we will go out of town to shoot some more. OR, maybe we will take a trip to New York or...I'm thinking...VEGAS!

I don't know...

But I do know that however we choose to spend our weekends - it is going to be one hell of a summer!


On a side note, I'm trying to practice more patience too ------- as part of my conscious living journey.

For all you that just laughed out loud - yes - wish me luck!

I will be filling out my pages up top to help better explain my new Year 2 attitude, so hopefully you will join me this year in conscious living!

Days 361-365 The end of Year 1 and the Star of the Show!

Today is Kiki's birthday AND the last day of Year 1!

Happy Birthday Kiki! I love you!

Awwww - tear :'''''(

My baby girl is growing up into a beautiful young lady!

Stay young at heart forever!

I am trying hard to get my new design up for Year 2 - you might have noticed some changes?

It is going to be AWESOME!

These last few days have been very busy at work!

Luckily, Mr. Strong and I was able to participate in another charity shoot this weekend to ease some of my stress. (there's nothing like shooting a shotgun to take away some pent-up frustration!)

There was a great turnout!

They raised a lot of money for a very deserving charity!

Of course we had a blast! The kids joined us - well Doodlebug was the Star of the Show and the girls, well? they stayed in the air conditioned truck watching movies.

Hmmmm? I wonder which one is Mr. Strong? Oh yeah - the one with the gigantic arms! "Who loves you baby?"

Doodlebug talked a lady sheriff into giving him a badge too. He is such a flirt!

That look was after I told him to stay away from my gun...his response? "DUH!!!" My son is a genius!

Hey Doodlebug, whatcha doing? "Nothing - it's hot - waiting for Daddy!" Are you comfortable? "Yes Ma'am!"

"Mommy take my picture! Mommy Daddy's here! Mommy - CHEESE!"

Doodlebug  had so much fun - can I write...he is ALLL BOYYYY! There was a thick layer of dirt on him from head to toe. For some reason he gets a kick of jumping to the ground off the Polaris and falling in the dirt - over and over again!

It was a great day, so after the charity event we headed to the hotel.

Five minutes upon arriving our room looked like a tornado hit it!

Cold air on high? Check! 20 minutes and 55 degrees later - awwwwwww!

It wasn't long before we left to go eat dinner - only to return to the pool!

He is fearless - absolutely - terrifyingly fearless! He spent 1.5 hours jumping off the side into the pool!

After swimming and after a shower he came running out of the bathroom like this! Mr. Strong and I are raising Cupid!

Again, it was a great weekend - leading into a busy workweek.

Today?

Today is the end of Year 1.

Today is the culmination of a year of successful learning, teaching, and living out loud. tear :''(

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow is the beginning of Year 2.

Tomorrow the sun will rise and I will be on the Road Less Traveled - oh boy...

Tomorrow the new "hardcore" adventure begins - my journey in conscious living guided by the Law of Attraction.

Why not, right?

We only get one life - why not LIVE every minute of it?!

What will your tomorrow bring?

Day 360 - By the way!

I will get around to editing yesterday's post to elaborate on all the fun stuff we did - but until then...

Today is different.

Today is about June being my 1 year anniversary month! YAY!!!!!

Next week brings the end to my first year and the beginning of year 2!

I'm VERY excited!!!!!!

By the way, since June is my anniversary month and I have been slacking on my workouts, I decided that I (and the girls) would get in 10 miles EVERY DAY! Oh yeah - you read that right - 10 OMG FREAKING MILES!

So, I am officially 2 full days behind, but the good thing is, is that the 10 miles EVERY DAY will include running, cycling and any other machine that clocks distance! (I'm hoping to catch up the miles on the bike!)
It's crackdown time! The Drill Sergeant is back biatches!

I will probably look like this most of the time:

SUPER SEXY HUH?


I expect this is going to be one crazy summer!

One of the best!













This is for Amanda's comment! lol!

I love casual Friday's! A break from wearing suits! Yay!

Days 353 - 359 Life is good!

I don't have a lot of time today to write about the great fun we had this past week --- I'm now trying to play "catch-up" at work.

You know how that is...

So here are some pictures which are worth more words than I could write today.

Enjoy!

Every morning started with the most beautiful sunrise!

Then it was followed by fun on the water at my sister's house on the lake!

Her pool is AWESOME! And convenient for the little ones or when the boats and jetski's are full! Her guest house is located right off of the pool so it is convenient for the little ones to take a nap in the cool air while remaining close!

Her 6 bd/4bth home overlooking the lake (when it has water...) is MY ideal vacation spot!

Doodlebug had the best time riding the waves!

There's nothing like watching the kids tube and have fun!

Mr. Strong had to pull in the jetski's to refill with gas! Good times!

Just enough shade and the perfect location on the lake to make the 108 degree weather tolerable!

This is her tennis court located next to her house. We played a little, but the heat was a little too much!

---Followed by fun at her ranch! There was so many things to ride around and see, play and do! Totally relaxing!
 

The Ranch House



Good friends and fun times!



The Texana Ranch! There was an off road competition being hosted at their motorcycle camp - I've never seen so many "jacked-up" jeeps! Very cool!

Memories!

Memories!

Then every night was met with the most beautiful sunset!

And a LOT of cocktails!

There's nothing like celebrating a long holiday weekend with 100 of the closest strangers you'll ever meet!

Life is good!!!!!!