Mrs. Master Chef

Okay people, so last night - I cooked.

Yep - food.

What started it all was very innocent. Someone left me the new Pampered Chef order book on my front doorstep and I perused the inside. Here are a few snapshots of what was going through my brain:

"Ohh, measuring cups - I want some of those!"

"Ohh look! Those baking dishes are so neat - I could use some of those too - I can make a pie!"

"WTF is that? Oh I HAVE to that meat tenderizer! It totally looks like a sex toy! That will make "pounding meat" fun!"  (ok, I confess to coming back to this page numerous times...couldn't turn my nasty thoughts off. I mean come on people - look at it!)

"Wow! Look at those pans! They are WAYYYYYY expensive - I guess that means they are WAYYYYY better...MMM HUH!"

"I want those square dishes! I have been looking for some exactly like that! I need to get rid of my circle black dishes that I have had for umpteen years!  I am soo ordering those!"

"MMMKAY, These ladies make cooking look fun. I need one of those choppers. Mine is shot to hell and the handle is broken. "

See?

"I want to cook something now...hmmmm...what do I have?"

"Let's go with Hamburger Steak and Steamed Veggies."

At about this time, I pulled everything out of the fridge and cabinets to begin my masterpiece!

Here are ALL of the necessary ingredients for cooking a this meal at my house...

Food: check
Wine: check
Cookware: check
Rubber Gloves: check

Yes you read correctly: rubber gloves. I. DO. NOT. TOUCH. RAW. MEAT.

I don't - it's not that I won't or that I can't - I DON'T - period. (You can all Psychoanalyze this for me later and get back with me, mmmkay?)

The 96% lean meat gets mixed with an Onion Mushroom Soup Mix for flavor.

And this is what one perfectly 3.5oz meat patty looks like. (Aprox. 110 calories)

Next it's on to the broccoli and cauliflower - chopped, with a little bit of water, onion powder and pepper for taste - and put into the big red pot that I will pretend like I didn't just take off the store bought price tags and stickers and wash...(about 120 calories with 1 cup of each.)

Yum!

After everything was said and done and the meat was cooked to the point that there was absolutely NO protein pink in the middle:

I got out my finest china (chinette) and made the perfect low calorie - perfectly portioned plate.

Now, I am sure that you all are in AWE of my Master Chef abilities and now want me to author a cook book, but I assure you that I do not have the time for that kind of endeavor. Yes, I know I am breaking some hearts out there and really disappointing the masses - sorry again.

But I am happy to report that this meal was actually liked and eaten by the members of my family and it wasn't because we had absolutely nothing else in the house to eat and it was either this or go to bed hungry.

Bon appétit!