Wakeup-Call Wednesday

I’m sad.


I’m a little depressed.

I’m a little numb.

I am actually kicking myself in the ass for gaining 11 – now 12 pounds when I was doing so well.

I think I self-sabotaged because I was a little afraid of the success and happiness that I was beginning to feel.

Unfortunately, there are no two ways about it – my 12lb gain SUCKS!

It sucks little tiny Seahorse dingalings because the giant riding Horse dingdongs would be too easy!

I took a risk and committed to promising myself that I would no longer stand in my own way and guess what?

Wake-up Call!!!!!

I succeeded and then failed miserably!

There’s nothing fun about tripping over my own “Drill Sergeant” ego and falling flat on my ass!

NOTHING.

I could beat myself up about it a little more and wallow in my self-pity, but then I wouldn’t be able to stand myself! I would have to eventually look in the mirror and shout out loud “GET OVER IT! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GET BACK ON TRACK – NOW – GO RUN!”

You see, someone once said that the only true failure in life is in not trying. And let me tell you I tried! I tried successfully and then I tried unsuccessfully, but you know what I can hide away in my now larger sized jean pockets? That I KNOW it can be done.

I have no excuses except for the ones that I allow myself to give power to, and well? those just aren’t cutting it anymore!

I jumped on the wagon all gung-ho to prove a point to everyone and myself - I rode that pony for awhile and then I watched in slow motion as I bounced my big ass right off onto the ground with a thud!

And now? I am rubbing my head, wondering what the hell went wrong. But instead of waiting on the answer to come, I am chasing that freaking wagon down the road, burning calories ready to hop back on!

I’m not sure if I will have time to work out today, but I have realized something that I was trying very hard to suppress: I have the mornings.

If I am not promised the lunch or afternoon workouts – I always have the mornings.

Yep – the 5am timeslot is calling my name again. That is the solution to my “work out” problems, but I kept trying to avoid it like the plague hoping something else would present itself. But nothing has…

I have an extra 12lbs and I am out of excuses.

Moreover, I am out of self-pity. I can't stand myselft - I want to get in my own face and scream "I HEAR THE BITCHING, BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT!!!!!???"



On that note: I leave you all today with the encouragement to continue on your journeys and know that you can do anything you set out to do – even if you fall off the wagon and are being humped by a stray dog – you can pull yourself together and chase that mother-effing wagon down!




“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places.” Earnest Hemingway



UPDATE: Added the following video for Brandy! MUAH!