Day 337 - I just want to cry...

Some days I feel on top of the world...

Some days I feel inspired and inspirational...

Some days I feel motivated and energized...

Some days I feel sleepy and lazy...

Some days I feel discouraged and frozen...

Some days I feel withdrawn...

Some days - like today - I just want to cry.

Blame it on whatever you want, but today I can't find my positive perspective. I'm in a slump people! and refuse to self-medicate on anything but my writing.

It is very busy at work and while I was on my lunch break waiting in line at the bank (for work!) I couldn't help but think that "it has to get better!"

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Kitty texted me this morning and asked if I could go pick her up from school because she has a sinus headache and her throat hurts. I told her I was busy and to text/ask Mr. Strong. She replied with "he's probably busy." I dismissed that comment and told her to at least TRY to see if he was available. You know what her response was?

"Never mind, I'll stay here"

Really?! WTF?!

So her ass is still at school!

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I have worked my butt off to get to where I am in my professional career.
That being written, today proved - AGAIN - that no matter how much I do for my position or anyone else's - I will never be appreciated for my work or thought of as the professional that I am (probably because I have a vagina, and an opinion!) by the person that it affects most. Grrrr!

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Still waiting on the lottery gods and the money fairy to bless me beyond the point of being IRS debt free while I enjoy cocktails at the poolside of my new house.

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Still wondering if I will ever get a new house or at least the one I have - cleaned and de-cluttered.

Sadly, I should have already had this done, but spending my weekends and weekdays working on my house has really escalated this slump I'm in. I'm sick of it and I have 3 children that contribute to a constant mess. I don't want to do anything anymore because I am the only one doing anything!

What is wrong with wanting to only work during the week while the kids are in school and taking vacations on the weekends? Hmm? Anybody?
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I have no social life - none. I am hoping in my new house to have a large enough "entertaining" area to change this, but "where's the new house?" Ugh! I have a small select group of friends that I can actually stand to be around, but I am the type of person that can't stand "fake" (except maybe my future new boobs...),  or for people to ask me questions because they are nosey and not out of concern, or - believe it or not - to be in a crowded room with strangers - HATE. IT.

I am your one-of-a-kind: extroverted anti-socialite!

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In 5 weeks the girls will start their summer tennis "tour" and while I wrote out that check this morning - I can't help but think "they don't deserve it".  Fortunately for them, I am looking to escape to life and this might be my only shot! Tennis tournament after tennis tournament - every weekend - some weekdays - 100+degree heat - BUT - the swimming pools and hotels will keep me going!

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Still thinking...there has to be more to life...

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