It was a beautiful day, but it did not warrant me wearing three shirts! IT GOT HOT!
Now, for today’s real post…
Hello, my name is….and I am a yeller. (most of you that read my blog are saying “duhhhh!”)
Yes, I will finally admit that I am a yeller. I yell at sporting events, I yell at my exercise partners, I yell at my family and I yell at myself (but, not in some psycho-schizophrenic way). I like to think that I have improved communication abilities!
I tried an experiment this weekend that went horribly wrong. Matter of fact, it went so wrong that it crashed and burned then sank to the bottomless black depths of the unknown!
My experiment?
Get the girls to do what I ask of them WITHOUT yelling.
Easy enough right? Especially for you Psychologist out there that says yelling accomplishes NOTHING! WRONG! And shame on you for making ME believe otherwise! My girls are not 3 anymore and I can't make a fun game out of cleaning - they're over the singing and joy of "pick-up, pick-up, everybody pick-up"...doesn't work.
I figured out that I yell for 3 reasons this weekend:
1. Out of irritation and anger
2. Unnecessarily
3. To spark motivation
After the ADA 5k, our weekend plans were to get the house cleaned and the laundry done, so we would be prepared to pack for another trip in 9 days. That’s not too much to ask for right?
So, let me write now that there are only so many times that I have it in me to “ask nicely.”
“Girls will you clean your room?”
“Girls will you clean your room?”
“Girrrls, will you clean your room?”
“It looks like you started, but can I get y’all to pleeease finish cleaning your room?”
Several hours later I am getting extremely irritated and angry at how they have not minded! Then I begin to slowly let out a few yells. Those don’t seem to be working so I give up trying to be the extremely patient mom that I have never been before and begin shouting at the top of my lungs from being irritated and angry! Then I shout some more unnecessarily! By this time, the girls had most of their room cleaned and had began working on laundry!
Really?
Why couldn’t they have done that when I was being the extremely patience and non-yelling mom I was being the MANY hours before? And don’t even think that I am one of those moms that give up on her children’s cleaning abilities and finally do it myself! No way! They need to learn!
…plus, if that was the case, my nickname wouldn’t be Drill Sergeant…
Then all of a sudden I had a mental breakthrough. The girls process my yelling as such:
Mom is not yelling – she must be in a good mood. She is in a good mood, so we don’t have to do what she says and won't get in trouble – you know, because she is not yelling and in a good mood!
Mom is yelling – she must be in a bad mood. She is in a bad mood, so we better do what she says or we are going to get into trouble – you know, because she is yelling and in a bad mood!
I don’t yell to intimidate or instill fear, I yell to get my request across the first time I ask! I am too busy for repetition and wasted repetition is not efficient! So, I’ve come to the conclusion that my "original" yelling is not a bad thing. In fact, it completely takes away the hurtful yelling out of building irritation and anger and even unnecessarily because it is the very SPARK OF MOTIVATION that drives my family!
Thanks to my mom, I will probably always be a yeller. Yes, that will be me on the sidelines of my family’s lives yelling for them and giving them that spark of motivation they need in all of their future adventures!
No hate mail please – I love my family and they love me!
Have you discovered anything about yourself lately?
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