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| Chaaaaa-Chinggggggg! |
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| Don't judge my little Christmas tree! I didn't want to put my big 8' up only for a few days! |
I have some serious dreams to make happen in 2012! Oh man! The excitement has me giddy and nervous all at the same time! Oy!
Before and After
Yay! The renovation and new decor is done! I told you I would post the before and after pics, so here we go!
VOILA! Another dream that came true - for this, I give thanks!
I have some serious dreams to make happen in 2012! Oh man! The excitement has me giddy and nervous all at the same time! Oy!
I have some serious dreams to make happen in 2012! Oh man! The excitement has me giddy and nervous all at the same time! Oy!
I Promise Myself...
Today, I wanted to share with you (courtesy of the Secret TV) Christian D. Larson's Optimist Creed. Why?
Well? that is a good question.
Yesterday, someone called me a saint. And not in the "you're so wonderful - you're a saint!" way, but rather in the "who the fu@k do you think you are? a Saint!?" way.
So, not to interfere with the positive energy that I have going on, I just want to reply with the following creed, because as most of you know, I have been trying really hard to live this way - permanently! It's damn hard! But, I am really learning and applying and reaping all sorts of blessings and benefits from it...
As you can see here, I've had it posted on my vision board at work for a really long time! Just to remind me to keep striving toward mastery.
Wow, I have impressed myself! I have made two things come true from my vision board and didn't realize one of them until now! So now I can add two more things and continue manifesting a wonderful life!!!! WoopWoop!
Sorry, I digress...
Here is the Optimist Creed:
This is for you - a peek into the life that I am trying to create and enjoy.
I really wanted to share this with everyone today because I believe in those words beyond comprehension to some. I'm no saint and despite my monthly multiple personalities and bitchiness and sometimes very impatient bouts, I am working on mastering these words. And, believe it or not, what I HAVE mastered is the 100% belief that positive thinking can manifest dreams to come true and turn relationships into lasting appreciation! I have experienced proof!
As you all venture into the Christmas and the New Year holidays, I hope blessings and happiness overfill your cups and positive uplifting energy heals your souls.
xoxo
Well? that is a good question.
Yesterday, someone called me a saint. And not in the "you're so wonderful - you're a saint!" way, but rather in the "who the fu@k do you think you are? a Saint!?" way.
So, not to interfere with the positive energy that I have going on, I just want to reply with the following creed, because as most of you know, I have been trying really hard to live this way - permanently! It's damn hard! But, I am really learning and applying and reaping all sorts of blessings and benefits from it...
As you can see here, I've had it posted on my vision board at work for a really long time! Just to remind me to keep striving toward mastery.
 |
| By the way, do you see the kitchen in the middle of the board? I can now remove that one from my vision board and add something new! WhoooooHooooo! Oh wait! There is another one I have made happen and can take off!!!! EEEEHHHHH! (Go meeeee, doing the cabbage patch - Oh yeah!) |
Wow, I have impressed myself! I have made two things come true from my vision board and didn't realize one of them until now! So now I can add two more things and continue manifesting a wonderful life!!!! WoopWoop!
Sorry, I digress...
Here is the Optimist Creed:
This is for you - a peek into the life that I am trying to create and enjoy.
 |
| I purposely enlarged this photo outside of the column so you could read it... |
I really wanted to share this with everyone today because I believe in those words beyond comprehension to some. I'm no saint and despite my monthly multiple personalities and bitchiness and sometimes very impatient bouts, I am working on mastering these words. And, believe it or not, what I HAVE mastered is the 100% belief that positive thinking can manifest dreams to come true and turn relationships into lasting appreciation! I have experienced proof!
As you all venture into the Christmas and the New Year holidays, I hope blessings and happiness overfill your cups and positive uplifting energy heals your souls.
xoxo
One to remember...
This morning after I celebrated my 16th day of giving, the Friend sent me this article. Normally I don't share links here, but it made me cry with happy tears. This is definitely one to remember...
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/anonymous-donors-pay-off-kmart-222535611.html
There are no stores that offer this service in my area, but it sure is a WONDERFUL way to give! With every gift large or small, we are becoming "Santa" and embodying the Christmas spirit of true human giving.
"Blessed are those who give without remembering. And blessed are those who take without forgetting." Bernard Meltzer
I hope you all are on your way to having the most joyful and miraculous holiday season EVER!
A mental break...
WOW! Has it really been 11 days since I posted?! No wonder I’ve been such a bitch!
I have been celebrating my 31 days of giving and aside from a couple of “fingers” and “FUs” I have been very successful.
I love to give to complete strangers. I envision their joy at a small gesture that I hope came at the perfect time in their life. This thought makes me smile…
I haven’t written on here in WAY too long, mostly because I have been living in my office (not really but it feels like it!) trying to get the workload of 3 people done. I have been extremely moody and I refuse to post any of my rants or raves and spread negativity during this giving time. So, that is why my posts have been nonexistent!
Today I am still working hard to get this audit over with – which hasn’t even started – but I am doing everything in my power to make things run quickly and efficiently! Oy! I’m tired!
As I sit here in my office – taking a small mental break – listening to my sick child snore on the couch – I am reminded how fortunate I really am.
I’m ready for my workload to ease up, my renovations to be complete and my children to be well.
I’m mentally exhausted.
I’m physically frustrated.
I think if I can make it through all these obstacles – without gaining any more weight – I will deem myself a hero!
I hope today is one of those days for you where you can look through all the hard work, frustrations, sicknesses and obstacles and see how truly lucky you really are.
Today I have been trying to find my way out of this negatively influenced funk and I think I just did…writing this post has helped!
Now, that doesn’t mean that when I get home I will act like Mary Poppins, because I won’t! But, I will promise you that I will keep trudging my way back to “the positive me.” (And posting more!)
For food in a world where many walk in hunger;
For faith in a world where many walk in fear;
For family & friends in a world where many walk alone;
I give heartfelt thanks.
I have been celebrating my 31 days of giving and aside from a couple of “fingers” and “FUs” I have been very successful.
I love to give to complete strangers. I envision their joy at a small gesture that I hope came at the perfect time in their life. This thought makes me smile…
I haven’t written on here in WAY too long, mostly because I have been living in my office (not really but it feels like it!) trying to get the workload of 3 people done. I have been extremely moody and I refuse to post any of my rants or raves and spread negativity during this giving time. So, that is why my posts have been nonexistent!
Today I am still working hard to get this audit over with – which hasn’t even started – but I am doing everything in my power to make things run quickly and efficiently! Oy! I’m tired!
As I sit here in my office – taking a small mental break – listening to my sick child snore on the couch – I am reminded how fortunate I really am.
I’m ready for my workload to ease up, my renovations to be complete and my children to be well.
I’m mentally exhausted.
I’m physically frustrated.
I think if I can make it through all these obstacles – without gaining any more weight – I will deem myself a hero!
I hope today is one of those days for you where you can look through all the hard work, frustrations, sicknesses and obstacles and see how truly lucky you really are.
Today I have been trying to find my way out of this negatively influenced funk and I think I just did…writing this post has helped!
Now, that doesn’t mean that when I get home I will act like Mary Poppins, because I won’t! But, I will promise you that I will keep trudging my way back to “the positive me.” (And posting more!)
For food in a world where many walk in hunger;
For faith in a world where many walk in fear;
For family & friends in a world where many walk alone;
I give heartfelt thanks.
As life happens...
I'm sorry it's been over a week since I posted, but as usual, I am extremely busy.
This week has been one hell of a week in the life department.
The past few days have been extremely frustrating - to say the least and keep my negative energy in tact!
Thanksgiving was a great holiday! We got to see family, eat great food, play on the ranch, have a few cocktails, and watch my nephew play for the Regional Championship football title.
Then it was back to reality on Monday. Work has been busier than ever, and my kitchen/fireplace renovations are closer to completion! Yay!
Yesterday Kitty passed her test and obtained her learner's permit for driving! EEEEK!
Today and this weekend are going to be busy with holiday parties, tennis and driver's ed! Oy!
As life happens - the good and the bad - I am still struggling a little bit in finding the ongoing positive perspective I once had. Yesterday, for the month of December, I started 31 days of giving. (of course I counted "the finger" I gave to a certain individual...) But, anyway, I need to somehow find the gratitude and positive energy to turn my slump around - Christmas time usually does this for me, but the past few days have thrown a blindsided old rusty wrench into the mix and my excitement was screwed a few notches!
Mr. Strong says my depression is caused by lack of sex...yah...that's his diagnosis. I know that is probably shocking to you all that he would say something like that...wink, wink.
We haven't had time alone away from well? anything or anyone in a while, so maybe I will try his medicinal remedy and see if that helps tonight! If it doesn't work then Dr. Strong is sooooo FIRED!
Have the best weekend ever!
Here is a picture of a most beautiful sunrise. This reminds me that with every new day comes the endless possibilities of making my dreams come true.
This week has been one hell of a week in the life department.
The past few days have been extremely frustrating - to say the least and keep my negative energy in tact!
Thanksgiving was a great holiday! We got to see family, eat great food, play on the ranch, have a few cocktails, and watch my nephew play for the Regional Championship football title.
Then it was back to reality on Monday. Work has been busier than ever, and my kitchen/fireplace renovations are closer to completion! Yay!
Today and this weekend are going to be busy with holiday parties, tennis and driver's ed! Oy!
As life happens - the good and the bad - I am still struggling a little bit in finding the ongoing positive perspective I once had. Yesterday, for the month of December, I started 31 days of giving. (of course I counted "the finger" I gave to a certain individual...) But, anyway, I need to somehow find the gratitude and positive energy to turn my slump around - Christmas time usually does this for me, but the past few days have thrown a blindsided old rusty wrench into the mix and my excitement was screwed a few notches!
Mr. Strong says my depression is caused by lack of sex...yah...that's his diagnosis. I know that is probably shocking to you all that he would say something like that...wink, wink.
We haven't had time alone away from well? anything or anyone in a while, so maybe I will try his medicinal remedy and see if that helps tonight! If it doesn't work then Dr. Strong is sooooo FIRED!
Have the best weekend ever!
Here is a picture of a most beautiful sunrise. This reminds me that with every new day comes the endless possibilities of making my dreams come true.
Soap and a Penis
Last night I posted on Facebook that apparently the bath soap I buy has to pass the “penis” test! Yes, you read that correctly!
See, picture this:
This is one of my favorite soaps on the market today. It is Aveda’s all natural Rosemary Mint bath soap and the smell is absolutely orgasmic AND it can be yours for $12 at Joe James’ Salon and Day Spa! I mean who wouldn’t want their body parts smelling minty fresh? I do! But, here’s the situation. This soap is also an exfoliate soap, which means that it isn’t the smoothest soap in the world – I love it!
I am also absolutely in love with Soaptopia’s all natural soaps! If I had the money, I would open up the first franchise of Soaptopia in Texas! I would have a little soap boutique and be extremely happy!!!
Sorry, I digress…
Back to my Aveda soap…
One of Mr. Strong’s guilty pleasures is actually taking bubble baths…shhhh…you didn’t hear that from me. The other night in his super hot and relaxing bubble bath he yelled for me to get him some soap. I walked in and told him that the soap is right next to his shoulder. He explained to me that “that is not soap! That shit is too rough!”
Rough?
Seeing the perplexed look on my face, he then began to explain that the all natural soap that I bought doesn’t lather like the old soap and it can’t be used on his penis because it is scratchy!
Hmmmm? Really?
Yes ladies, let me inform you that after 17-1/2 years of marriage, I am just now learning that the soap I buy has to pass the “penis” test!
So, how does the soap actually pass the test?
Here is the most important information of all and why soap is a man’s best friend:
1. It cannot be an exfoliate soap. If it cannot be applied directly to the penis for washing without pain and grimacing from its roughness – don’t buy it. (Ladies, if he does use it, be warned that his pain – according to him – can only be taken away “if you kiss it better!”)
2. It has to lather! If you cannot rub it between your hands and get a good lather for washing then don’t buy it! (apparently lather is important because it makes the ACTION of cleaning hinder free. wink…wink)
3. It can’t be a drying soap because smooth and soft skin – over the whole body – is just as important to men. (I mean, who wants a dry crusty penis right? Ewww!)
So, there you go!
Next time you go to the store in charge of buying soap – remember those rules if you are married or have a male companion. Or, do what I am going to do next time Mr. Strong is yelling at me to bring him “the right” soap – act like I can’t hear him and run away to the other room!
Toodles!
See, picture this:
This is one of my favorite soaps on the market today. It is Aveda’s all natural Rosemary Mint bath soap and the smell is absolutely orgasmic AND it can be yours for $12 at Joe James’ Salon and Day Spa! I mean who wouldn’t want their body parts smelling minty fresh? I do! But, here’s the situation. This soap is also an exfoliate soap, which means that it isn’t the smoothest soap in the world – I love it!
I am also absolutely in love with Soaptopia’s all natural soaps! If I had the money, I would open up the first franchise of Soaptopia in Texas! I would have a little soap boutique and be extremely happy!!!
Sorry, I digress…
Back to my Aveda soap…
One of Mr. Strong’s guilty pleasures is actually taking bubble baths…shhhh…you didn’t hear that from me. The other night in his super hot and relaxing bubble bath he yelled for me to get him some soap. I walked in and told him that the soap is right next to his shoulder. He explained to me that “that is not soap! That shit is too rough!”
Rough?
Seeing the perplexed look on my face, he then began to explain that the all natural soap that I bought doesn’t lather like the old soap and it can’t be used on his penis because it is scratchy!
Hmmmm? Really?
Yes ladies, let me inform you that after 17-1/2 years of marriage, I am just now learning that the soap I buy has to pass the “penis” test!
So, how does the soap actually pass the test?
Here is the most important information of all and why soap is a man’s best friend:
Mr. Strong’s Soap Rules to Pass the Penis Test
2. It has to lather! If you cannot rub it between your hands and get a good lather for washing then don’t buy it! (apparently lather is important because it makes the ACTION of cleaning hinder free. wink…wink)
3. It can’t be a drying soap because smooth and soft skin – over the whole body – is just as important to men. (I mean, who wants a dry crusty penis right? Ewww!)
So, there you go!
Next time you go to the store in charge of buying soap – remember those rules if you are married or have a male companion. Or, do what I am going to do next time Mr. Strong is yelling at me to bring him “the right” soap – act like I can’t hear him and run away to the other room!
Toodles!
Signs and Day 1...
Have you ever stopped to really listen to the Universe? Have you ever really noticed the signs telling you what you need to hear?
Well I have! And boy did they ring in loud and clear over the weekend.
Case in point:
As I was trying to put together this wall shelf over the weekend, my frustration mounted into yelling and screaming at the kids and I might have thrown the instructions a time or two. Then all of a sudden the metal pole ricocheted and hit/cut me over the left eye leaving me in pain and crying.
Sign 1 from the Universe: "Take that! Do I have your attention now?! Chill out, calm down, and quit taking your anger out on everyone around you! "
This morning after another mostly sleepless night I woke up hungry. Nothing sounded good for breakfast except some hot, fresh, salt and peppered, Whataburger french fries! Yum! So I pulled into Whataburger order me some and as I went to get some and stick them in my mouth, they were the stale, cold, flimsy and soggy! And if you know me, I CAN NOT eat stale, cold, flimsy and soggy french fries! Yes, I was pist!
Sign 2 from the Universe: "How do those taste? You keep bitching about your weight and your clothes not fitting, so here! Let me help you out, since you obviously didn't have the will power to stay out of the drive-thru!"
As much as I would like to bitch-slap the Universe across the face for inflicting physical and emotion wounds on me - all I can say is Thank You!
I see the light...
In addition to my weekend of signs - and those weren't the only ones - I signed the contract to have my kitchen remodeled - beginning today. WooHoo! Like I am not stressed enough!!!!
But, this remodel is going to go smoothly, the work will be high quality and precise and it will run in such a timely manner that it will be best for both parties. I am super excited to finally be opening up my kitchen to the living room!!!!! (doing the cabbage patch...running man...sprinkler...watch out now!) I have wanted this for YEARS people, YEARS!
Here are some pictures from Day 1's work:
More exciting pictures to come. This will be a short work week and we are leaving town for the holiday, so to everyone out there that has wanted something for YEARS - it is your turn to make it happen! Good luck and if you don't hear from me before Thursday have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!
MUUUUWAHHHHH!
Well I have! And boy did they ring in loud and clear over the weekend.
Case in point:
As I was trying to put together this wall shelf over the weekend, my frustration mounted into yelling and screaming at the kids and I might have thrown the instructions a time or two. Then all of a sudden the metal pole ricocheted and hit/cut me over the left eye leaving me in pain and crying.
Sign 1 from the Universe: "Take that! Do I have your attention now?! Chill out, calm down, and quit taking your anger out on everyone around you! "
This morning after another mostly sleepless night I woke up hungry. Nothing sounded good for breakfast except some hot, fresh, salt and peppered, Whataburger french fries! Yum! So I pulled into Whataburger order me some and as I went to get some and stick them in my mouth, they were the stale, cold, flimsy and soggy! And if you know me, I CAN NOT eat stale, cold, flimsy and soggy french fries! Yes, I was pist!
Sign 2 from the Universe: "How do those taste? You keep bitching about your weight and your clothes not fitting, so here! Let me help you out, since you obviously didn't have the will power to stay out of the drive-thru!"
As much as I would like to bitch-slap the Universe across the face for inflicting physical and emotion wounds on me - all I can say is Thank You!
I see the light...
In addition to my weekend of signs - and those weren't the only ones - I signed the contract to have my kitchen remodeled - beginning today. WooHoo! Like I am not stressed enough!!!!
But, this remodel is going to go smoothly, the work will be high quality and precise and it will run in such a timely manner that it will be best for both parties. I am super excited to finally be opening up my kitchen to the living room!!!!! (doing the cabbage patch...running man...sprinkler...watch out now!) I have wanted this for YEARS people, YEARS!
Here are some pictures from Day 1's work:
 |
| Here we go! (And no I do not mean "we" as is me or Mr. Strong.) |
 |
| WOOHOO! |
 |
| You can't really tell it, but my breakfast bar will be 12-1/2 feet long! |
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| New Rock Fireplace |
MUUUUWAHHHHH!
The Giving Tree
Today is a late post.
I am late because well? Frankly, I have been in a crappy mood due to my spoilt, unappreciative children. Yes, I know they are my fault, so please reframe from any snide comments or what you think might be helpful tips because I might just have to result to verbal violence. Mmmkay?
Anywhoozle, like I wrote, I was in a terrible mood. I have been feeling mounting pressure from all sides of my life and I just want to scream “I CAN’T DO IT ALL!!!”
Then today at work, we received our Ornaments from the Giving Tree. My company sponsors a tree every year and I pick out 5 children (1 for each of us) that is in need of 2 gifts for Christmas. My children will give up asking for two of their gifts in place of buying two gifts for another child. I am trying to teach them that giving IS a gift to yourself!
Looking at these ornaments breaks my heart because I know that these children and hundreds more will not be with their families or have been removed from a hostile environment and will be among strangers for the holidays. I hate it.
But I LOVE the fact that I have the means to provide some unexpected happiness and joy to children. I wish I could take every ornament that is created every year and provide each child with their Christmas wishes, but alas, I can’t afford that YET!
Last year I wrote a post that included this about my children and believing in Santa Claus:
“Santa Claus is a Christmas spirit. He is a spiritual energy that can make miracles happen. You can’t use your own perspective when it comes to Santa. You have to open your imagination across the entire globe and know that Santa’s are at work everywhere. Do you realize that because YOU BOTH decided to buy 2 presents for children that are in dire need of a Christmas miracle and wish, they will be waking up to presents under the tree this year in a stranger’s house – just for them!? Do you think that for one instant, they will think their parents put them there? You are the Santa Claus that will bring the excitement and joy to a small child that has otherwise been in a very bad situation. Do you realize that because of your giving nature this holiday season, you ARE Santa Claus to that child? You might not be there in person to see him or her open their gifts, but you can feel their happiness through how you felt when you opened your presents and it was EXACTLY what you wanted. You are their Christmas miracle – you are the reason that gives a child HOPE that life can be fantastic! That is what Santa Claus is all about. That is why Santa Claus is so important to believe in - in your life for evermore. “
I hope my children never forget this. I hope when I take these ornaments home, my children find the appreciation and gratitude I know they have possessed – somewhere deep, deep, down in theirblack loving souls.
Today…because I can help make a few Christmas wishes come true…I found tear-jerking thankfulness and joy.
If you are out and about between now and Christmas and you come across a tree filled with children's ornaments? "may you find the finances and willingness to make a child's Christmas wish come true!"
And if you are reading this and own a company? I challenge you to sponsor a whole tree - because as I've written before and 100% believe in, the pureness of genuine giving will be multiplied back to you in magnificent ways!
I give because it puts a smile on someone's face and joy in my heart!
I am late because well? Frankly, I have been in a crappy mood due to my spoilt, unappreciative children. Yes, I know they are my fault, so please reframe from any snide comments or what you think might be helpful tips because I might just have to result to verbal violence. Mmmkay?
Anywhoozle, like I wrote, I was in a terrible mood. I have been feeling mounting pressure from all sides of my life and I just want to scream “I CAN’T DO IT ALL!!!”
Then today at work, we received our Ornaments from the Giving Tree. My company sponsors a tree every year and I pick out 5 children (1 for each of us) that is in need of 2 gifts for Christmas. My children will give up asking for two of their gifts in place of buying two gifts for another child. I am trying to teach them that giving IS a gift to yourself!
Looking at these ornaments breaks my heart because I know that these children and hundreds more will not be with their families or have been removed from a hostile environment and will be among strangers for the holidays. I hate it.
But I LOVE the fact that I have the means to provide some unexpected happiness and joy to children. I wish I could take every ornament that is created every year and provide each child with their Christmas wishes, but alas, I can’t afford that YET!
Last year I wrote a post that included this about my children and believing in Santa Claus:
“Santa Claus is a Christmas spirit. He is a spiritual energy that can make miracles happen. You can’t use your own perspective when it comes to Santa. You have to open your imagination across the entire globe and know that Santa’s are at work everywhere. Do you realize that because YOU BOTH decided to buy 2 presents for children that are in dire need of a Christmas miracle and wish, they will be waking up to presents under the tree this year in a stranger’s house – just for them!? Do you think that for one instant, they will think their parents put them there? You are the Santa Claus that will bring the excitement and joy to a small child that has otherwise been in a very bad situation. Do you realize that because of your giving nature this holiday season, you ARE Santa Claus to that child? You might not be there in person to see him or her open their gifts, but you can feel their happiness through how you felt when you opened your presents and it was EXACTLY what you wanted. You are their Christmas miracle – you are the reason that gives a child HOPE that life can be fantastic! That is what Santa Claus is all about. That is why Santa Claus is so important to believe in - in your life for evermore. “
I hope my children never forget this. I hope when I take these ornaments home, my children find the appreciation and gratitude I know they have possessed – somewhere deep, deep, down in their
Today…because I can help make a few Christmas wishes come true…I found tear-jerking thankfulness and joy.
If you are out and about between now and Christmas and you come across a tree filled with children's ornaments? "may you find the finances and willingness to make a child's Christmas wish come true!"
And if you are reading this and own a company? I challenge you to sponsor a whole tree - because as I've written before and 100% believe in, the pureness of genuine giving will be multiplied back to you in magnificent ways!
I give because it puts a smile on someone's face and joy in my heart!
Insert sarcasm voice here...
Okay, today I am just going to get right to the point.
I was going to blog about the past few days- my anniversary - the girls' tennis tournament - Doodlebug's birthday - my awesome diet & exercise day yesterday - but hell no! I don't have time.
I don't have time.
After a long, mostly sleepless night, I woke up to an email asking ME to get this, and this, and this, and this, and that! Then I had to get this, and this, and this, and that, done for the girls. Not to mention, this, and this, and this, and that, done for the house. And to top it all off - I got on the scale today and and immediately had the urge to throw that fucker against the wall for lying! Yes, my scale lies - in my mind...
WTF!
Insert sarcasm voice here...really get excited when you read these lines! mmmkay?
Okay, yes I will stop everything that is backed up on my desk, home and life to get you what you have every access to obtain!
Yes, please let me stop what I am doing to make your life, work, and stress -wonderful, reduced and minimized! OH BOY!
I feel so blessed that I can do everything for everyone at every freaking moment of the day without appreciation, recognition or assistance! Yippeee!
No, I don't want to scream at you to bite my ass and do it yourself!
No, I don't want to yell "ARE YOU A FU@KING IDIOT?!"
No, I don't want to run away crying because I NEED HELP JUST TO HELP YOUR ASS!
GRRRRRR SMILING :-)!
_______________________
Okay - meltdown accomplished.
Back to reality...I feel better now.
WOOOOOSAHHHHHH!
I was going to blog about the past few days- my anniversary - the girls' tennis tournament - Doodlebug's birthday - my awesome diet & exercise day yesterday - but hell no! I don't have time.
I don't have time.
After a long, mostly sleepless night, I woke up to an email asking ME to get this, and this, and this, and this, and that! Then I had to get this, and this, and this, and that, done for the girls. Not to mention, this, and this, and this, and that, done for the house. And to top it all off - I got on the scale today and and immediately had the urge to throw that fucker against the wall for lying! Yes, my scale lies - in my mind...
WTF!
Insert sarcasm voice here...really get excited when you read these lines! mmmkay?
Okay, yes I will stop everything that is backed up on my desk, home and life to get you what you have every access to obtain!
Yes, please let me stop what I am doing to make your life, work, and stress -wonderful, reduced and minimized! OH BOY!
I feel so blessed that I can do everything for everyone at every freaking moment of the day without appreciation, recognition or assistance! Yippeee!
No, I don't want to scream at you to bite my ass and do it yourself!
No, I don't want to yell "ARE YOU A FU@KING IDIOT?!"
No, I don't want to run away crying because I NEED HELP JUST TO HELP YOUR ASS!
_______________________
Okay - meltdown accomplished.
Back to reality...I feel better now.
WOOOOOSAHHHHHH!
Mental Notes and Musings
Sooooooooo
Right?
Hmmm? I’ll think about all these things more while I’m lying in the tanning bed at lunch…
- I think I officially weigh more than a Biggest Loser contestant. What does that mean? Nothing – I’ve almost convinced myself that I am 3 feet taller than that person, so it doesn’t matter.
Right?
- I have not had an “official” vacation from work this year. I’m going stir-crazy! I think it’s time to run away to a nude beach and feel good about myself again. Not because I will go nude, but because I will learn to appreciate my body from seeing other people that are way bigger than I am sporting their nudity like a super model. And, maybe I will get lucky and see my future breast on some hot international model - this way I can take a picture for my doctor… ;-)
- My closet is busting at the seams! Literally! I need to take a vacation just to clean my closet – it’s beyond ridiculous, but I am expressing my gratitude for every piece of clothing, shoes and whatever else that I have been able to buy myself! I don’t think I can begin to explain how cram-packed it really is. I found a bag of clothes that I bought 2 months ago and forgot that I had even bought them – now that is baaaaaaad!
- It’s no secret that I love my job! I have the best job in the world for my current situation. (Go me….cabbage patch, running man!) But! Lately, I have been feeling that “lack” again in my personal life, like I should be contributing more to helping people help themselves – namely, me! I think it has something to do with the beautiful weather we have been having here after one of the hottest summers on record – I am itching to experience some nature again!
- We have a 5k, tennis tournament, anniversary and Doodlebug’s birthday this weekend and I am already exhausted just thinking about it all. *sigh*
- I went back and read some of my older posts yesterday and can I write that damn! I inspired myself! I officially want a treadmill in my office now (or somewhere close). I have been told that I would need new electrical circuits to handle the current, but really? I’m not sure if I believe that…why would my home be able to accommodate a treadmill but not my “commercial” office? Hmmm? Research needed. Then again, my employer pays for a gym membership, so maybe I just need to take my butt there…
Hmmm? I’ll think about all these things more while I’m lying in the tanning bed at lunch…
The Law of Attraction
The Law of Attraction Page is up!
Yay!
Finally!
May the energies of positive thinking be returned to you 10-fold!
Yay!
Finally!
May the energies of positive thinking be returned to you 10-fold!
Multiple Personalities
Yes, this would be me! I have multiple personalities and I am proud of it!
It's no surprise to you? lol. You must read my blog...
I'm not talking about a mental sickness people - I'm sure some of you would disagree - but those people can bite me!
World? Let me introduce myself…
By day I am Corporate:
By night I am High Fashion:
And the weekends? Well you will find me as Fitness, Casual Chic or sometimes just plain – Plain:
I love the confidence I get from a freshly pressed business suit; I love the sexiness I feel from a short dress and sky-high stilettos; I love the relief of workout clothes and tennis shoes and I love the comfort of worn out jeans and the convenience of a baseball cap!
I am all of these women rolled into one! Unfortunately, in my personal life, most people who know me know me only in one aspect. My co-workers know me only as Corporate or Fitness. My close friends know me as High Fashion or Casual Chic, and my shooting buddies? Well they know me only as Plain!
And Mr. Strong? Well he knows me as all of these women and he loves every little conservative, avant-garde, naughty, nice, uncomfortable and comfortable personality that I have!
So what prompted this post today? The HOLIDAYS!!!
Yes, party after party where I can finally put my High Fashion personality on display and feel sexier than "hell" in designer clothes and SHOES! WhoHoo!!!!!!!
Yep - It’s been a pleasure meeting you!
(I think I need some artificial sunlight, so my white legs don't take the attention away from the AWESOME dresses and shoes I am going to buy!!!! EEEEE! )
Tidbit...
Hey did y'all know I am finally "google-able"? Hell yeah baby! WhoHoo! Yay!
The girls and I are getting ready for a big tennis weekend. Kitty has to keep playing in the USTA tournaments to win the points needed to graduate to the US Open qualifying tournaments!
Oy!
...my little girl playing in the US Open...?
Yep...I think I can live with that!
Go out and do something uncharacteristically awesome for yourself or for someone else this weekend! I dare you!
Have a fantastic weekend everyone!
Muah!
The girls and I are getting ready for a big tennis weekend. Kitty has to keep playing in the USTA tournaments to win the points needed to graduate to the US Open qualifying tournaments!
Oy!
...my little girl playing in the US Open...?
Yep...I think I can live with that!
Go out and do something uncharacteristically awesome for yourself or for someone else this weekend! I dare you!
Have a fantastic weekend everyone!
Muah!
Charitable Hump Day
For the first time in a long time I got on the scale this morning and was happy.
Happy about what the number read and happy that I didn’t have the repeated urge to put the scale under the back tire of the HUMMER and run over it yelling “What do I weigh now biatch!? Huh? Huh?”
I’m still not completely well yet, so running is out of the question for a couple more days.
And you know what? I’m okay with that – I still know that I will finish this year out strong!
AND, I just need a few more photos and my website will be published and up and running! Yay!
This morning…I am happy.
Today…I am grateful.
So to encourage some lasting longevity of my good mood, today will be Charitable Hump Day.
(And NO, Mr. Strong – “hump day” does not mean the literal act of humping! ;-) xoxo)
Today holds a multitude of possibilities in the charitable department and not all of them require money.
For example(s) I might:
Give a bigger tip today.
Give encouragement to those around me.
Give someone a gift for no reason.
Buy coffee or lunch for some stranger.
Give a smile, compliment or kindness to someone.
Even though I am still a little drugged up on cold/sinus medicine and don’t feel 100% well yet, today is going to be a good day! And, as you have read before: “Send out some positive/charitable energy and the Universe will send it back!” The Law of Attraction never fails!
Soooooo, what will you do today to increase your happiness?
Happy about what the number read and happy that I didn’t have the repeated urge to put the scale under the back tire of the HUMMER and run over it yelling “What do I weigh now biatch!? Huh? Huh?”
I’m still not completely well yet, so running is out of the question for a couple more days.
And you know what? I’m okay with that – I still know that I will finish this year out strong!
AND, I just need a few more photos and my website will be published and up and running! Yay!
This morning…I am happy.
Today…I am grateful.
So to encourage some lasting longevity of my good mood, today will be Charitable Hump Day.
(And NO, Mr. Strong – “hump day” does not mean the literal act of humping! ;-) xoxo)
Today holds a multitude of possibilities in the charitable department and not all of them require money.
For example(s) I might:
Give a bigger tip today.
Give encouragement to those around me.
Give someone a gift for no reason.
Buy coffee or lunch for some stranger.
Give a smile, compliment or kindness to someone.
Even though I am still a little drugged up on cold/sinus medicine and don’t feel 100% well yet, today is going to be a good day! And, as you have read before: “Send out some positive/charitable energy and the Universe will send it back!” The Law of Attraction never fails!
Soooooo, what will you do today to increase your happiness?
Life, Work and Travel
It's been almost a freaking month since I posted!
Ummmm? WTH is wrong with me?
Nothing - it's been a whole shitload of life, work and travel!
Well, I am back and more present than usual.
Why?
Because I am down some lbs - mainly because I have been sick with a sinus head cold and swollen tonsils.
Because I have finished the HUGE work project that has had me living on my computer 24/7.
Because I have conquered (just got back from) this years National Sporting Clays Championship and retained my title of Ladies SxS Champion! (oh yeah, go me... doing the cabbage patch...it's my birthday.)
Because after all the stress and mania and multiple personalities that I have been know to display lately, this man (Mr. Strong) remains by my side. Oh and FYI - this was one of his BEST Nationals Sporting Clays Championships ever! He did great!
No - you will not find any pictures of me......yet!
For now...It's time to keep this blog updated and to get my website completed!!!!!
I'm totally slacking!
Ummmm? WTH is wrong with me?
Nothing - it's been a whole shitload of life, work and travel!
Well, I am back and more present than usual.
Why?
Because I am down some lbs - mainly because I have been sick with a sinus head cold and swollen tonsils.
Because I have finished the HUGE work project that has had me living on my computer 24/7.
Because I have conquered (just got back from) this years National Sporting Clays Championship and retained my title of Ladies SxS Champion! (oh yeah, go me... doing the cabbage patch...it's my birthday.)
Because after all the stress and mania and multiple personalities that I have been know to display lately, this man (Mr. Strong) remains by my side. Oh and FYI - this was one of his BEST Nationals Sporting Clays Championships ever! He did great!
 |
| Yum. |
 |
| See the shell eject? Great shot! Way cool!!!! |
No - you will not find any pictures of me......yet!
For now...It's time to keep this blog updated and to get my website completed!!!!!
I'm totally slacking!
One of those mornings...
Yesterday I wrote that I didn't give a crap that the 14lbs of gained fatabulous was hanging (literally) around. I wrote that I could still end this year with a bang and I meant it.
I still feel that way - about finishing the year out strong, anyway.
Thanks to CA I was able to view (via picture) a most beautiful sunset. See, last night it was kind of perfect. I cooked (and yes we all survived) the healthiest meal that I have probably ever cooked (except a salad, but you don't really cook those do you?) It was delicious! I focused on my portion control and drank a glass a wine to wind down and relax to - what was to me - a really good day. Last night I felt that I was on a mission to conquer the world!
This morning? Welllllll, not so much.
This morning was one of those mornings where - I wanted to conquer finding a pair of pants that fit!
I lost.......and I was close to burning my closet down........seriously................I need therapy.
Today was a day that I wished for the first time that I owned a pair of Spanx or some other girdle contraption. That was a very sad moment for me...
I am so much better than this.
So as I lay on a huge mound of clothes in my closet, I shut my eyes and meditated for about 5 minutes.
WhooooooooSahhhhhhhhhhh!
Instead of driving to whatever store was open at 7am and going in my underwear and traumatizing a hundred people - I finally found a pair of pants.
I have to stop and think that my weight gain - albeit my fault - has some deeper meaning. I have to stop and think that maybe I am going through this rough patch in order to become a more compassionate trainer to my clients. I have to realize this change is happening to me because something fantastic is coming out of it!
In order to retain this perspective, I have to get rid of all the negative energy that has been around me.
I have to...
I still feel that way - about finishing the year out strong, anyway.
Thanks to CA I was able to view (via picture) a most beautiful sunset. See, last night it was kind of perfect. I cooked (and yes we all survived) the healthiest meal that I have probably ever cooked (except a salad, but you don't really cook those do you?) It was delicious! I focused on my portion control and drank a glass a wine to wind down and relax to - what was to me - a really good day. Last night I felt that I was on a mission to conquer the world!
 |
| BEAUTIFUL and RELAXING! |
This morning? Welllllll, not so much.
This morning was one of those mornings where - I wanted to conquer finding a pair of pants that fit!
I lost.......and I was close to burning my closet down........seriously................I need therapy.
Today was a day that I wished for the first time that I owned a pair of Spanx or some other girdle contraption. That was a very sad moment for me...
I am so much better than this.
So as I lay on a huge mound of clothes in my closet, I shut my eyes and meditated for about 5 minutes.
WhooooooooSahhhhhhhhhhh!
Instead of driving to whatever store was open at 7am and going in my underwear and traumatizing a hundred people - I finally found a pair of pants.
I have to stop and think that my weight gain - albeit my fault - has some deeper meaning. I have to stop and think that maybe I am going through this rough patch in order to become a more compassionate trainer to my clients. I have to realize this change is happening to me because something fantastic is coming out of it!
In order to retain this perspective, I have to get rid of all the negative energy that has been around me.
I have to...
Duck! with a capital "F"
I can't believe it is already October! Man I have been slacking - hardcore! My last post was September 14th! Yikes!
Well, I am happy to inform you that I have been working on a new Website the last 3 weeks and it is ALMOST finished! YAY!
Don't worry, I will have my blog attached to it, so you can reach me on two different venues! (mmmhuh! Oh yeah, doing the cabbage patch!)
Today is one of those days that I woke up revived and laughing. (It probably had nothing to do with Mr. Strong laying on me and me farting really loud either! I think I've done that in front of him maybe a handful of times in the 17.6 years that we have been married...yes, I was extremely embarrassed - at least it wasn't while he was naked laying on top of me - that would have been a whole other post!) I'm sure it was probably because for the first time in a long time I was able to sleep through the whole night! Yes, the WHOLE night! WhooooHoooo!
It's October and I am nowhere near my New Year's Resolution goal to have six-pack abs. Matter of fact, I am now up 14 freaking pounds! ALL fat - I'm sure of it...
And right now, instead of shouting Duck! with a capital "F", I don't care. I still have time to get busy and today is a new day. In addition to the rest of this week, there are 12 weeks left in this calendar year and I am making it my personal goal to either hit the gym or hit the road and get in at LEAST an hour of workouts each and every day until the end of the year. oy!
No. Excuses.
For so long, I got caught up on working on the outside of me, that I lost myself and I am now paying the price of +14 pounds of emotional sabotage and no clothes that fit (correctly).
I am happy to write that I am back to working on the inside of me - my mind - my thoughts - my beliefs. As I do this, I know the outside will follow.
May you find your happiness and motivation each and every day!
Well, I am happy to inform you that I have been working on a new Website the last 3 weeks and it is ALMOST finished! YAY!
Don't worry, I will have my blog attached to it, so you can reach me on two different venues! (mmmhuh! Oh yeah, doing the cabbage patch!)
Today is one of those days that I woke up revived and laughing. (It probably had nothing to do with Mr. Strong laying on me and me farting really loud either! I think I've done that in front of him maybe a handful of times in the 17.6 years that we have been married...yes, I was extremely embarrassed - at least it wasn't while he was naked laying on top of me - that would have been a whole other post!) I'm sure it was probably because for the first time in a long time I was able to sleep through the whole night! Yes, the WHOLE night! WhooooHoooo!
It's October and I am nowhere near my New Year's Resolution goal to have six-pack abs. Matter of fact, I am now up 14 freaking pounds! ALL fat - I'm sure of it...
And right now, instead of shouting Duck! with a capital "F", I don't care. I still have time to get busy and today is a new day. In addition to the rest of this week, there are 12 weeks left in this calendar year and I am making it my personal goal to either hit the gym or hit the road and get in at LEAST an hour of workouts each and every day until the end of the year. oy!
No. Excuses.
 |
| May you take the opportunities of a brand new day to find your happiness. |
For so long, I got caught up on working on the outside of me, that I lost myself and I am now paying the price of +14 pounds of emotional sabotage and no clothes that fit (correctly).
I am happy to write that I am back to working on the inside of me - my mind - my thoughts - my beliefs. As I do this, I know the outside will follow.
May you find your happiness and motivation each and every day!
Wakeup-Call Wednesday
I’m sad.
I’m a little depressed.
I’m a little numb.
I am actually kicking myself in the ass for gaining 11 – now 12 pounds when I was doing so well.
I think I self-sabotaged because I was a little afraid of the success and happiness that I was beginning to feel.
Unfortunately, there are no two ways about it – my 12lb gain SUCKS!
It sucks little tiny Seahorse dingalings because the giant riding Horse dingdongs would be too easy!
I took a risk and committed to promising myself that I would no longer stand in my own way and guess what?
Wake-up Call!!!!!
I succeeded and then failed miserably!
There’s nothing fun about tripping over my own “Drill Sergeant” ego and falling flat on my ass!
NOTHING.
I could beat myself up about it a little more and wallow in my self-pity, but then I wouldn’t be able to stand myself! I would have to eventually look in the mirror and shout out loud “GET OVER IT! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GET BACK ON TRACK – NOW – GO RUN!”
You see, someone once said that the only true failure in life is in not trying. And let me tell you I tried! I tried successfully and then I tried unsuccessfully, but you know what I can hide away in my now larger sized jean pockets? That I KNOW it can be done.
I have no excuses except for the ones that I allow myself to give power to, and well? those just aren’t cutting it anymore!
I jumped on the wagon all gung-ho to prove a point to everyone and myself - I rode that pony for awhile and then I watched in slow motion as I bounced my big ass right off onto the ground with a thud!
And now? I am rubbing my head, wondering what the hell went wrong. But instead of waiting on the answer to come, I am chasing that freaking wagon down the road, burning calories ready to hop back on!
I’m not sure if I will have time to work out today, but I have realized something that I was trying very hard to suppress: I have the mornings.
If I am not promised the lunch or afternoon workouts – I always have the mornings.
Yep – the 5am timeslot is calling my name again. That is the solution to my “work out” problems, but I kept trying to avoid it like the plague hoping something else would present itself. But nothing has…
I have an extra 12lbs and I am out of excuses.
Moreover, I am out of self-pity. I can't stand myselft - I want to get in my own face and scream "I HEAR THE BITCHING, BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT!!!!!???"
On that note: I leave you all today with the encouragement to continue on your journeys and know that you can do anything you set out to do – even if you fall off the wagon and are being humped by a stray dog – you can pull yourself together and chase that mother-effing wagon down!
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places.” Earnest Hemingway
UPDATE: Added the following video for Brandy! MUAH!
I’m a little depressed.
I’m a little numb.
I am actually kicking myself in the ass for gaining 11 – now 12 pounds when I was doing so well.
I think I self-sabotaged because I was a little afraid of the success and happiness that I was beginning to feel.
Unfortunately, there are no two ways about it – my 12lb gain SUCKS!
It sucks little tiny Seahorse dingalings because the giant riding Horse dingdongs would be too easy!
I took a risk and committed to promising myself that I would no longer stand in my own way and guess what?
Wake-up Call!!!!!
I succeeded and then failed miserably!
There’s nothing fun about tripping over my own “Drill Sergeant” ego and falling flat on my ass!
NOTHING.
I could beat myself up about it a little more and wallow in my self-pity, but then I wouldn’t be able to stand myself! I would have to eventually look in the mirror and shout out loud “GET OVER IT! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GET BACK ON TRACK – NOW – GO RUN!”
You see, someone once said that the only true failure in life is in not trying. And let me tell you I tried! I tried successfully and then I tried unsuccessfully, but you know what I can hide away in my now larger sized jean pockets? That I KNOW it can be done.
I have no excuses except for the ones that I allow myself to give power to, and well? those just aren’t cutting it anymore!
I jumped on the wagon all gung-ho to prove a point to everyone and myself - I rode that pony for awhile and then I watched in slow motion as I bounced my big ass right off onto the ground with a thud!
And now? I am rubbing my head, wondering what the hell went wrong. But instead of waiting on the answer to come, I am chasing that freaking wagon down the road, burning calories ready to hop back on!
I’m not sure if I will have time to work out today, but I have realized something that I was trying very hard to suppress: I have the mornings.
If I am not promised the lunch or afternoon workouts – I always have the mornings.
Yep – the 5am timeslot is calling my name again. That is the solution to my “work out” problems, but I kept trying to avoid it like the plague hoping something else would present itself. But nothing has…
I have an extra 12lbs and I am out of excuses.
Moreover, I am out of self-pity. I can't stand myselft - I want to get in my own face and scream "I HEAR THE BITCHING, BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT!!!!!???"
On that note: I leave you all today with the encouragement to continue on your journeys and know that you can do anything you set out to do – even if you fall off the wagon and are being humped by a stray dog – you can pull yourself together and chase that mother-effing wagon down!
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places.” Earnest Hemingway
UPDATE: Added the following video for Brandy! MUAH!
Temper Tantrum Tuesday
So yesterday you all read that I couldn’t work out on my lunch break because I had to take Kitty to the dentist. When we were done, I asked her where she wanted to eat. Of course she responded with “Olive Garden” – why the hell not, right? The mood I was in needed some carbs to help increase my 11lbs gain – whatever – I was depressed. (I know that is no excuse…)
Anywhoozle, while we were sitting at our table this couple was seated behind us. I couldn’t tell if they were maybe friends or meeting for a first lunch date, because of the way she was talking to him. She was a decent build – not too thin, not too skinny and he was what I would call a “muscle head.” Muscles and veins popping out everywhere…
This is what Kitty and I heard:
Girl: “I can’t believe you eat here! There are so many carbs and a ton of fat in every plate!”
Guy: “Yeah, but it taste really good.”
Girl: “I just can’t order anything off this menu.”
Guy: “okay, you want to go somewhere else?”
Girl: “No, that’s okay – ummm – waiter? I can’t eat any of these items on your menu. Can I create my own plate? Yes? Okay, I want a grilled chicken breast – no butter – and steamed veggies. Just charge me what you think is fair since this is not on your menu.”
Guy: “I want the 5-cheese Ziti and please bring the salad dry with the dressing on the side – she doesn’t eat dressing. Also, can you put cheese on my salad plate and not on the salad that I’m going to share with her?”
Kitty and I laughed about it this for a minute. This couple was extreme opposites, but the way that she ordered her food had this pompous tone behind it – like the waiter was in second grade.
We talked about her order for a minute and then I told Kitty that maybe she had lost 100lbs or maybe she had weight loss surgery or whatever the reason – that girl definitely had discipline.
(Something we should have been exercising a lot more of – especially after writing my post yesterday!)
Kitty looked at her plate of pasta and said, “well at least I am going to be playing tennis for 2-1/2 hours later! I will work off the calories.”
She said this with a little bit of guilt in her voice and I told her that yes indeed, she would be working off the calories so not to fret over her meal.
Then, a shock of lightening went through my head and down to my feet – Oh SHIT! - I realized that I WOULD NOT be working those calories off and wanted to remove myself from the table and go throw up!
Seriously people! How can I bitch about gaining 11lbs and then find myself in Olive Garden eating Chicken Scampi and making fun of someone who is very disciplined in her food choices while garlic butter runs down my chin!
WTF is wrong with me?!!!
Depression? Hell yes!
Insanity? Well of course!
Hypocrisy? 100% without a doubt!
Shish!
I had a glass of wine for dinner and a long hot bubble bath with a good book last night.
This morning I felt different. I reminded myself that I couldn’t change what has happened in the past; I can only change what I want to here in the now! This moment! What was I going to do about my 11lbs?
You guessed it! I packed my gym bag, so that I could work out at lunch.
Body Pump?
Spin?
5 Miles?
Hell yes! Bring it all on! Oatmeal for breakfast and I am ready to conquer this “bitch”!
About 10am I get a text from Kitty that reads:
“Mom, I have a tennis match today at 4. I need you to bring me water and my uniform. Sorry, I didn’t know I was playing.”
I sat there for a few minutes asking myself: Really? Really? REALLY!!!!!!?????
FUUUUUUUUUU#$%^^%^&^&& - commence the temper tantrum!
I can’t catch a break! Why you ask? Because in order for me to be able to leave work at 3:30, so I can stop by the store to get her water, go home and get her uniform and then make it to her game by 4 – I mostly have to work through lunch.
Oh, and it doesn't stop here!
While Kitty starts playing her matches at 4, sometime after that, I will have to pick up Kiki from Cross Country practice at 5:30, drive across town to pick up Doodlebug by 6:30 and then make it make to watch Kitty’s final match – when everything starts winding down around 8pm we will get home, I will fix supper, help Kiki with her mounds of math homework, help Kitty with her homework and somehow get everyone bathed (or not) and off to bed.
I might be able to meditate before going to bed, but one thing is certain – I will not get a workout in today.
But, I am not defeated – a little depressed – but not defeated!
Tomorrow is a new day and my gym bag is still packed!
Anywhoozle, while we were sitting at our table this couple was seated behind us. I couldn’t tell if they were maybe friends or meeting for a first lunch date, because of the way she was talking to him. She was a decent build – not too thin, not too skinny and he was what I would call a “muscle head.” Muscles and veins popping out everywhere…
This is what Kitty and I heard:
Girl: “I can’t believe you eat here! There are so many carbs and a ton of fat in every plate!”
Guy: “Yeah, but it taste really good.”
Girl: “I just can’t order anything off this menu.”
Guy: “okay, you want to go somewhere else?”
Girl: “No, that’s okay – ummm – waiter? I can’t eat any of these items on your menu. Can I create my own plate? Yes? Okay, I want a grilled chicken breast – no butter – and steamed veggies. Just charge me what you think is fair since this is not on your menu.”
Guy: “I want the 5-cheese Ziti and please bring the salad dry with the dressing on the side – she doesn’t eat dressing. Also, can you put cheese on my salad plate and not on the salad that I’m going to share with her?”
Kitty and I laughed about it this for a minute. This couple was extreme opposites, but the way that she ordered her food had this pompous tone behind it – like the waiter was in second grade.
We talked about her order for a minute and then I told Kitty that maybe she had lost 100lbs or maybe she had weight loss surgery or whatever the reason – that girl definitely had discipline.
(Something we should have been exercising a lot more of – especially after writing my post yesterday!)
Kitty looked at her plate of pasta and said, “well at least I am going to be playing tennis for 2-1/2 hours later! I will work off the calories.”
She said this with a little bit of guilt in her voice and I told her that yes indeed, she would be working off the calories so not to fret over her meal.
Then, a shock of lightening went through my head and down to my feet – Oh SHIT! - I realized that I WOULD NOT be working those calories off and wanted to remove myself from the table and go throw up!
Seriously people! How can I bitch about gaining 11lbs and then find myself in Olive Garden eating Chicken Scampi and making fun of someone who is very disciplined in her food choices while garlic butter runs down my chin!
WTF is wrong with me?!!!
Depression? Hell yes!
Insanity? Well of course!
Hypocrisy? 100% without a doubt!
Shish!
I had a glass of wine for dinner and a long hot bubble bath with a good book last night.
This morning I felt different. I reminded myself that I couldn’t change what has happened in the past; I can only change what I want to here in the now! This moment! What was I going to do about my 11lbs?
You guessed it! I packed my gym bag, so that I could work out at lunch.
Body Pump?
Spin?
5 Miles?
Hell yes! Bring it all on! Oatmeal for breakfast and I am ready to conquer this “bitch”!
About 10am I get a text from Kitty that reads:
“Mom, I have a tennis match today at 4. I need you to bring me water and my uniform. Sorry, I didn’t know I was playing.”
I sat there for a few minutes asking myself: Really? Really? REALLY!!!!!!?????
FUUUUUUUUUU#$%^^%^&^&& - commence the temper tantrum!
I can’t catch a break! Why you ask? Because in order for me to be able to leave work at 3:30, so I can stop by the store to get her water, go home and get her uniform and then make it to her game by 4 – I mostly have to work through lunch.
Oh, and it doesn't stop here!
While Kitty starts playing her matches at 4, sometime after that, I will have to pick up Kiki from Cross Country practice at 5:30, drive across town to pick up Doodlebug by 6:30 and then make it make to watch Kitty’s final match – when everything starts winding down around 8pm we will get home, I will fix supper, help Kiki with her mounds of math homework, help Kitty with her homework and somehow get everyone bathed (or not) and off to bed.
I might be able to meditate before going to bed, but one thing is certain – I will not get a workout in today.
But, I am not defeated – a little depressed – but not defeated!
Tomorrow is a new day and my gym bag is still packed!
Melancholy Monday
Does anyone know the secret of how to “live” life when you are pulled in a hundred different directions because of family & work obligations? I mean really?
I have been trying since the beginning of summer and I seem to be falling further and further behind since school started – especially in my workouts.
And my writing…my writing is therapy for me, and for some reason my sanity seems to be coming in third to everything else! I am working on this too – I promise!
I confess today that my mood stems from me finally getting on the scale this morning! Yep – I couldn’t take it anymore - I had to see how much weight I have gained. After trying on SIX pairs of pants this morning, my clothes are no longer just the indication that I need to cut down – they are screaming at me “I don’t fit you! Quit trying to suck in and buckle me! You are hurting me!” (No my clothes don’t talk, but I’m sure that is what they would say to me if they could!)
11 pounds – that is the result. ELEVEN freaking pounds!
I have officially fallen off the wagon and I am ashamed. I am ashamed because I know that I am a better person than the one that was looking back at me in the mirror this morning. I know that I committed and resolved to have a better body and to quit standing in my own way this year – and I can’t explain how it happened. I am ashamed and I feel like a fraud, because I preach this stuff every day –hell! I am a Certified Personal Trainer! I KNOW what it takes to keep a healthy weight – I KNOW what it takes to work hard and accomplish the impossible – I KNOW how it feels to be so self-conscious that you don’t want your husband of 18 years to see you naked!
And yet…
I lost focus…
I lost motivation…
I lost myself…
A really good virtual friend of mine MrsFatass has been asked to “audition” for ABC’s new show “the Revolution” and I hope she makes it through! Go read about it here! I want to see her every ?day on TV and watch her succeed!
The show is about busy, working parents that need to lose 50 – 100 lbs while continuing their day-to-day obligations. There is no “time-out” in this show. This show will show you that you can lose the weight while you live your busy life.
I wish I could be on this show! Just so that I could learn how to manage this objective! Fortunately, I don’t have 50-100lbs to lose (only 40 now that I have gained 11 back!), but unfortunately for the viewers, my busy schedule would be the epitome of what “busy” is and the potential to overcome any doubts that this “stuff” really works and is possible!
In mystupidity urgency to fit into my work clothes this week, I decided last week that I will start back my daily workouts. This hit me last Tuesday, so Wednesday I went to a BodyPump class on my lunch break. I sweat and sweat and it felt great!
So great in fact that I decided I would take another one on Thursday! That class was fun! I increased my weight loads, I sweat and again it felt great! Friday I had to cut my workout short to go pick Kiki up from school, so I was only able to run 3 miles.
Saturday morning I woke up and could barely move! From my shoulders to my calves – I hurt. It actually hurt to sit down and pee because my thighs were on fire! So, I didn’t get any exercise in Saturday or yesterday and I feel like crap now! I feel like crap because my clothes don’t fit – I feel like crap because I knew better!
I know better!
I was going to go to another class on my lunch break today, but I have to take Kitty to the dentist. After work is Kiki’s Cross Country practice, Kitty’s Tennis Practice and maybe I can fit in a late evening workout.
(Which I hate – I hate working out in the evenings – the late rush of adrenaline keeps me up at night – I guess I better change my perspective and attitude towards late workouts – Law of Attraction right?)
I was happiest the summer before last where I was dragging the girls out of bed at 5am and running. We would have breakfast at home and I was able to write almost every day. What changed? The girls went back to school and I have been searching for that undivided attention to myself, since.
The reality is, my schedule, my time, my life has been put on hold because the girls, Doodlebug, Mr. Strong, our home, my work and whatever else that arises comes first.
My psychoanalysis: I let it – I let it because it is a socially acceptable excuse that everyone understands and accepts without question.
There is no quick fix here – ask my still aching ass muscles!
But, I have acknowledged my problem and am working on it…
Today I write it out – in this moment I am applying therapy that I know has worked in the past.
I designed a class here locally for people that want to Learn to Run. It’s a 5k, 5 days a week for 5 weeks. It would start next Monday and end the day before a really good 5k race. I would be the instructor and the class could run the 5k as a group to show the world that they were able to find a finish line that included achieving something they never thought was possible. The timing, the concept and the weather is perfect!
There’s only one problem – I haven’t figured out how (or haven’t had time to figure out how) to build a small website where people can go to download the waivers/releases and pay. I only have this week/weekend to advertise and I can’t seem to GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY! I feel like I am not good enough and I feel like I am a fraud – because I KNOW that this will help so many people find the confidence to continue running and living a healthier lifestyle – and yet I can’t get my shit together to get it started!
The longer I delay – the less perfect the timing is – it needs to start next Monday!
I feel like the stars are aligning, the Universe is on my side and Mother Nature is telling me “it’s time” and all I can think about is that I am scared to take that first step towards a life that I know I am meant to have.
All because I gained 11 pounds.
I have been trying since the beginning of summer and I seem to be falling further and further behind since school started – especially in my workouts.
And my writing…my writing is therapy for me, and for some reason my sanity seems to be coming in third to everything else! I am working on this too – I promise!
I confess today that my mood stems from me finally getting on the scale this morning! Yep – I couldn’t take it anymore - I had to see how much weight I have gained. After trying on SIX pairs of pants this morning, my clothes are no longer just the indication that I need to cut down – they are screaming at me “I don’t fit you! Quit trying to suck in and buckle me! You are hurting me!” (No my clothes don’t talk, but I’m sure that is what they would say to me if they could!)
11 pounds – that is the result. ELEVEN freaking pounds!
I have officially fallen off the wagon and I am ashamed. I am ashamed because I know that I am a better person than the one that was looking back at me in the mirror this morning. I know that I committed and resolved to have a better body and to quit standing in my own way this year – and I can’t explain how it happened. I am ashamed and I feel like a fraud, because I preach this stuff every day –hell! I am a Certified Personal Trainer! I KNOW what it takes to keep a healthy weight – I KNOW what it takes to work hard and accomplish the impossible – I KNOW how it feels to be so self-conscious that you don’t want your husband of 18 years to see you naked!
And yet…
I lost focus…
I lost motivation…
I lost myself…
A really good virtual friend of mine MrsFatass has been asked to “audition” for ABC’s new show “the Revolution” and I hope she makes it through! Go read about it here! I want to see her every ?day on TV and watch her succeed!
The show is about busy, working parents that need to lose 50 – 100 lbs while continuing their day-to-day obligations. There is no “time-out” in this show. This show will show you that you can lose the weight while you live your busy life.
I wish I could be on this show! Just so that I could learn how to manage this objective! Fortunately, I don’t have 50-100lbs to lose (only 40 now that I have gained 11 back!), but unfortunately for the viewers, my busy schedule would be the epitome of what “busy” is and the potential to overcome any doubts that this “stuff” really works and is possible!
In my
So great in fact that I decided I would take another one on Thursday! That class was fun! I increased my weight loads, I sweat and again it felt great! Friday I had to cut my workout short to go pick Kiki up from school, so I was only able to run 3 miles.
Saturday morning I woke up and could barely move! From my shoulders to my calves – I hurt. It actually hurt to sit down and pee because my thighs were on fire! So, I didn’t get any exercise in Saturday or yesterday and I feel like crap now! I feel like crap because my clothes don’t fit – I feel like crap because I knew better!
I know better!
I was going to go to another class on my lunch break today, but I have to take Kitty to the dentist. After work is Kiki’s Cross Country practice, Kitty’s Tennis Practice and maybe I can fit in a late evening workout.
(Which I hate – I hate working out in the evenings – the late rush of adrenaline keeps me up at night – I guess I better change my perspective and attitude towards late workouts – Law of Attraction right?)
I was happiest the summer before last where I was dragging the girls out of bed at 5am and running. We would have breakfast at home and I was able to write almost every day. What changed? The girls went back to school and I have been searching for that undivided attention to myself, since.
The reality is, my schedule, my time, my life has been put on hold because the girls, Doodlebug, Mr. Strong, our home, my work and whatever else that arises comes first.
My psychoanalysis: I let it – I let it because it is a socially acceptable excuse that everyone understands and accepts without question.
There is no quick fix here – ask my still aching ass muscles!
But, I have acknowledged my problem and am working on it…
Today I write it out – in this moment I am applying therapy that I know has worked in the past.
I designed a class here locally for people that want to Learn to Run. It’s a 5k, 5 days a week for 5 weeks. It would start next Monday and end the day before a really good 5k race. I would be the instructor and the class could run the 5k as a group to show the world that they were able to find a finish line that included achieving something they never thought was possible. The timing, the concept and the weather is perfect!
There’s only one problem – I haven’t figured out how (or haven’t had time to figure out how) to build a small website where people can go to download the waivers/releases and pay. I only have this week/weekend to advertise and I can’t seem to GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY! I feel like I am not good enough and I feel like I am a fraud – because I KNOW that this will help so many people find the confidence to continue running and living a healthier lifestyle – and yet I can’t get my shit together to get it started!
The longer I delay – the less perfect the timing is – it needs to start next Monday!
I feel like the stars are aligning, the Universe is on my side and Mother Nature is telling me “it’s time” and all I can think about is that I am scared to take that first step towards a life that I know I am meant to have.
All because I gained 11 pounds.
 |
| Thanks to CA - I look foward to sunrises again... |
Update
I am still here!
Hello?
Anyone out there?
Sorry I left for 2 weeks without a warning!
Shame on me!
I am working on an actual post to publish...this isn't it...
For now, the first two weeks of school have kicked my ass! I've been pulled in all different directions at the same time and for the love of Zeus's butthole! will someone PLEASE tell my children that I am NOT superwoman!
Mmmkay?
Shish - already!
Hello?
Anyone out there?
Sorry I left for 2 weeks without a warning!
Shame on me!
I am working on an actual post to publish...this isn't it...
For now, the first two weeks of school have kicked my ass! I've been pulled in all different directions at the same time and for the love of Zeus's butthole! will someone PLEASE tell my children that I am NOT superwoman!
Mmmkay?
Shish - already!
Play by Play and My Fantasy Escape
OMG - I am writing today!
Yep, I actually have time to write a few words for you all today. Sorry I just left like that ---- you know, sorry for taking a weekor two off from Blogland and leaving everyone hanging!
You have my permission to fly me to any resort destination for a week or two, put me up in a 5-star hotel and kick my assthe whole time in between spa treatments!
Let me run you through a play by play of my last two weeks...mmmmkay?
First, Kitty made the Varsity tennis team (as a freshman) and I am so proud of her! YAY!
Anywhoozle, this is the down and dirty play by play of my life over the last 2 weeks from sun-up to sun-down:
Work
Tennis
Work
Tennis
Make up work from time lost on tennis and practices.
Work
Laundry
School Shopping
Work
Tennis
Man, that's exciting huh?
I feel like I have become an inconvenienced chauffeur and pulled in a 100 different directions!
I want to scream because I know that it is only going to get worse as school starts!
Which brings me to my fantasy escape plan...
After careful consideration, I have decided that I would like to escape to the Biggest Loser Ranch. Yes, you read correctly. I want to go there and concentrate on NOTHING BUT ME!
I want to focus on MY workouts.
I want to focus on MY eating.
I want to focus on MY mental health!
BEFORE I have a breakdown!
I know it's not going to happen, but I can take a few minutes from my very short lunch break (after I take care of tennis) to day dream!
Wish me luck!
Yep, that about covers it...sorry you waited so long for such an over-the-top, dramatic, "my life is sooo exciting" post!
I'm going to go cry and break something now, or maybe I will just go sit in the dry-sauna (when I can find some time)...I really don't need any more negative energy coming my way!
Shish!
Yep, I actually have time to write a few words for you all today. Sorry I just left like that ---- you know, sorry for taking a week
You have my permission to fly me to any resort destination for a week or two, put me up in a 5-star hotel and kick my ass
Let me run you through a play by play of my last two weeks...mmmmkay?
First, Kitty made the Varsity tennis team (as a freshman) and I am so proud of her! YAY!
Anywhoozle, this is the down and dirty play by play of my life over the last 2 weeks from sun-up to sun-down:
Work
Tennis
Work
Tennis
Make up work from time lost on tennis and practices.
Work
Laundry
School Shopping
Work
Tennis
Man, that's exciting huh?
I feel like I have become an inconvenienced chauffeur and pulled in a 100 different directions!
I want to scream because I know that it is only going to get worse as school starts!
Which brings me to my fantasy escape plan...
After careful consideration, I have decided that I would like to escape to the Biggest Loser Ranch. Yes, you read correctly. I want to go there and concentrate on NOTHING BUT ME!
I want to focus on MY workouts.
I want to focus on MY eating.
I want to focus on MY mental health!
BEFORE I have a breakdown!
I know it's not going to happen, but I can take a few minutes from my very short lunch break (after I take care of tennis) to day dream!
Wish me luck!
Yep, that about covers it...sorry you waited so long for such an over-the-top, dramatic, "my life is sooo exciting" post!
I'm going to go cry and break something now, or maybe I will just go sit in the dry-sauna (when I can find some time)...I really don't need any more negative energy coming my way!
Shish!
Potty Mouth
Yesterday you read that I haven't had time for MY workouts and it has become very frustrating. Last night after work Doodlebug and I sat through the girls' 2 hour long tennis lesson and again for another hour this morning at the crack of dawn.
I'm burnt out. I need energy and the only way I can get the kind of energy I need is by working out.
I'm bitchy...and my endorphins are relaxing on a beach somewhere drinking mojitos without me!
This weekend another tennis tournament, but I have promised myself that I will get in workouts for ME and my bitchy, jiggly ass!
Next week? I will begin weight training with Mr Strong 2-3 times a week.
Oh boy!
This is where I commence to hyperventilate.
But I need the challenge and he will motivate me to the point of spaghetti arms and not feel bad for me. I will get no sympathy from him - none - nada - zilch.
So let's reiterate shall we?
Me
Not too bad - I have great raw materials to work with...
Mr. Strong
Fuck! My asshole just clenched!
I'm so screwed!
I will let you know how my first workout with him goes...that's if I will be able to type again!
Sorry for the "potty-mouth", but I am scarrrrred!
I'm burnt out. I need energy and the only way I can get the kind of energy I need is by working out.
I'm bitchy...and my endorphins are relaxing on a beach somewhere drinking mojitos without me!
This weekend another tennis tournament, but I have promised myself that I will get in workouts for ME and my bitchy, jiggly ass!
Next week? I will begin weight training with Mr Strong 2-3 times a week.
Oh boy!
This is where I commence to hyperventilate.
But I need the challenge and he will motivate me to the point of spaghetti arms and not feel bad for me. I will get no sympathy from him - none - nada - zilch.
So let's reiterate shall we?
Me
 |
| The only picture I could find where you could see my arms... |
Not too bad - I have great raw materials to work with...
Mr. Strong
 |
| Yum.... |
I'm so screwed!
I will let you know how my first workout with him goes...that's if I will be able to type again!
Sorry for the "potty-mouth", but I am scarrrrred!
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